By 8:00 am of the morning of November 11, 2014, Veterans' Day, I had already called the Madison Police Department three times in four days: Friday at 12:45 am, Saturday at 2:20 am, and Sunday at 10:00 pm. Monday night into early Tuesday morning, I had not slept much either. Over those latest days, my complaint changed--but only for the worst. That is, the new neighbors below me, 20-somethings, feeling more confident and empowered by the lack of response from the building manager or the police, engaged in more life-threatening behavior toward me. While still recovering from surgery to remove a Meningioma tumor, I now confront, represented by these neighbors and management, innocence.
I heard music coming from the apartment below me on September 26, 2014. I waited until 10:20 pm and went downstairs. Behind the door, I hear music, voices. A party. Someone inside suggested rather mildly that someone else go to the door. When finally the door opened, I saw just a sliver of a face. No open greeting. No apology. No warmth.
What do you want?
The music is loud. This is a senior building. (It was when I signed the lease in November of 2011. Only since this incident did I realize it no longer is senior zoned).
You didn't give me a warning.
(A warning! I see, too).
Consider this your warning.
I appeared at the door Black. I also appeared 60 years old at the time. I have had a birthday since. I also appeared (although less visible to these neighbors) disabled--still recovering from surgery.
Since that day in late September, neighbors below let it be known that they are white, male, and gay. Privileged, entitled, "special."
And innocent, above all.
How dare a Black old woman tell us what we can and cannot do!
In your face, lady! (If that is the label they actual call me by. But I doubt it!).
I have my partner (questionable whether or not he is on the lease). I have my friends over, and among us, we will make your life hell.
We can and we will!
From one room to the other, here they are. Here they are in the evenings and here they are at night--all night sessions from 1:00 until 6 am.
Move! If you don't like it! Move!
Or drop dead!
Have a seizure again! Die!
We don't give a damn!
And my apartment is often fumigated. They seem to love turning up the heat and closing the windows, making sure certain odors rise with the heat. I had better not hit the floor. In a punitive culture, I will be punished with more of the same or worse.
At night, I must keep the windows open and the portable fan facing out of the bedroom door if I am to survive the night.
In the meantime, my two cats suffer too. It is a stressful situation for them.
I must accept the situation or better, move!
I should have moved! The neighbors (or neighbor and his partner and friends) have worked hard to make sure I am intimated, frightened. Mind games and harassment is our came. Let's see how long you can stand it! No music no. It is all about you!
I should have moved! I was expected to run never looking back as old as I am! I should have erased and effaced myself from the domain of the privileged and entitled. After all this is Madison, Wisconsin. What chance do you have of receiving a fair response from management or the police?
Angry Black woman!
I heard this statement recently and it is so apt to this situation: Hurt people hurt people. It is as American as "apple pie." Fear lashes out, sometimes. Just ask refugees from Iraq.
So after experiencing yet another night when my sleep was disrupted, I woke up and turned on my computer. November 11, 2014. Will the local library be open?
Yes, the libraries in Madison will be open but what caught my eye was this image and words right in the middle of the Madison Public Library web page. On a red background was the image of a little Black baby boy and the words, THE EVOLUTION OF A CRIMINAL.
I am sitting at my computer looking at this images and those words while recalling what I experienced just the night before and what was even happening below me as I was sitting at the computer!
I contacted the main branch of the Madison Public Library and spoke by phone with a couple of administrators. Innocent of the possibility that I or any Black would be upset, had a right to be upset, one administrator offered a series of platitudes, including the insulting and disrespectful: we try to represent a variety of voices. Diversity! Angry Black woman!
There is always an excuse! It is never what it is.
Finally, during the middle of that day, I wrote a letter. I emailed it to the administrator who tries to represent a variety of voices, and his supervisor. I also made sure I sent the email to a representative at PBS.
Here is a copy of that letter:
To: Michael Spelman
From: Dr. Lenore Daniels
Re: "Post" Racism
Date: November 11, 2014
For posterity...
This morning, as I was checking the Madison Pubic Library website to see if the libraries would be open today, I noticed an image. It was a picture of a Black male child. And then these words: THE EVOLUTION OF A CRIMINAL.
The image and the words. Those in power, who control who is allowed to speak, those who determine how another people are represented, invariably rely images that suggest the "criminality" of victims of historical violence.
Unfortunately, most residents of Madison would not find this advertisement for the documentary, The Evolution of a Criminal upsetting. Why should they when feed as children a steady diet of images and words and whole narratives in which a Black child as criminal is "normal," "familiar," "acceptable." And I will not discuss here (although I have for years) how authors and filmmakers of color are allowed to sit at the table if their creative project supports the perpetuation of these "white" images of "blackness."
Innocence--whiteness--is not criminal. Viewers at the Madison Public Library website would not expect (and would be horrified) to come across an image of a white male child and those words: THE EVOLUTION OF A CRIMINAL. That does not compute, as they say!
As an older Black woman, a thinker, student of history, long-time activist and writer, I am among the few left of my generation who still believes the struggle is continuous and that struggle is to end (not reform) this form of violence--for it truly is violence of the first order, truly criminal. There is no Hitler if for ten years, the Jewish are not established in images and in words as "the evil doers" and "the criminals" among us!
These images and words perpetuate more narrative violence, and, of course, allow for the physical violence we know takes place daily, every minute of the day against people of color, the majority of the world by those who see difference as a threat to the status quo.
I am disappointed but not surprised that the Madison Public Library would not only support this kind of cinema, but exercised its power to reinforce the demoralization of Black people, while maintaining white's fear of Blacks (unless they speak "softly," or have a tale of used to be "bad" but now "good" story to comfort a mainly white audience).
Sadly that is not the case. Fear, even indifference, still reigns as it has in this country's past.
There was a showing and discussion of the documentary here in Madison Thursday, November 13, 2014. I was invited to come and air my concerns. Democracy! How nice! Who makes the decision to show a film? Who are the people who have the ultimate say in what is represented? What images and words are acceptable? And acceptable for what?
I did receive a response to my letter/email from the representative ay PBS on the 13th. She not only responded to the letter/email, but she called me. She was among a few who did speak out, who did feel that the image and words would be "incendiary." But Spike Lee is the producer.
But the price is right!
MONEY is POWER!
Innocence is a powerful agent for the corporate capitalists who control the images and words. That label us and our children CRIMINALS. My young neighbors below me can do whatever their little head dream up. But our children are shot in the streets because they look threatening, particularly when they carry candy and cell phones!
By the way, the neighbor whose name is on the lease, wears a hoodie, but I doubt he, his partner or friends would be mistaken for criminals. Whiteness is not threatening.
Brandish Blacks (particularly Black male children) to the categories of criminal.
The creation of lies and distortions of truth, of reality. It is no wonder I or any other Black in the US is subject to a punitive culture where individuals, empowered by privilege and entitlement, dish out "Just-Us"--the American way!
