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Allan Goldstein

                 
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San Francisco based columnist, author, gym rat and novelist. My book, "The Confessions of a Catnip Junkie" is the best memoir ever written by a cat. Available on Amazon.com, or wherever fine literature is sold with no sales tax collected.

For those seeking more detail on yours truly, the following is from my website, allangoldstein.com, where you can partake copiously, and for free.

"Allan Goldstein lives in San Francisco with his wife, Jordan, and a minimum of two cats. His op-ed newspaper column,"Caught off Base," has appeared in San Francisco's West Portal Monthly for the past decade. Satire, invective and humor are specialties.

He also blogs regularly on opednews.com and on hypocrisy.com under the pseudonym Snark Twain. Other work has appeared in Spitball, The Baseball Literary Review, The Potomac Review, and several magazines including Rock and Gem and Pilot's Preflight. He is currently at work on his third novel."

OpEdNews Member for 290 week(s) and 2 day(s)

113 Articles, 0 Quick Links, 149 Comments, 1 Diaries, 0 Polls

Articles Listed By Date   List By Popularity

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Tuesday, July 1, 2014     

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Repeal the Second Amendment.
(35 comments) If the people don't want guns in their society, they should have the right to ban them. Or, at the very least, keep them out of the hands of idiots who aren't sane enough to pass the Driver's Exam. But we can't even do that, because of the tyrannical, obsolete, absurd, outdated Second Amendment.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014     

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Failing the Edward Snowden Litmus Test.
(5 comments) The job of our elected representatives isn't to persecute the whistle-blowers. It is to BE the whistle-blowers.

Monday, April 7, 2014     

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The Ultimate Meaning of All Life Revealed
(6 comments) The last newspaper column you will ever read.

Thursday, March 13, 2014     

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Dear Hillary, Announce Now
(6 comments) Hillary Clinton needs to announce now and remove any uncertainty about her candidacy. As long as she’s in the race, announced or otherwise, she’ll get all the attention on the Democratic side. If she’s not going to run, she needs to step aside immediately.

Thursday, February 13, 2014     

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How not to make a revolution
(27 comments) A leaderless revolution is a failed revolution.

Thursday, January 16, 2014     

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A reluctant defense of Political Correctness
(7 comments) A little love for political correctness, the ugly stepchild of cultural discourse. Political correctness,properly understood, is merely the code of honor, doing its essential work: holding society together in the absence of any other agreed moral/religious standards of behavior.

Monday, December 16, 2013     

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The Case for Market Socialism
(4 comments) When an economy fails to serve the people it's a failed economy. The markets have driven global capitalism into a ditch. To fix it, we need some new ideas. Here's one.

Monday, November 11, 2013     

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Ballots, Battlefields or Baseball
(4 comments) The shameful confessions of a die-hard, left-wing baseball fan.

Monday, October 7, 2013     

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The Default Revolution; Occupy Default
(3 comments) How do we make the default pay? We go on offense. Occupy the Default.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013     

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Staying Straight in Sochi
(1 comments) The Official Guide to Olympic Behavior from the Russian Ministry of Sexual Hygiene

Tuesday, August 6, 2013     

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The Unlovely Profit Motive
(28 comments) Profit is the lifeblood of our economic system. But that doesn't mean we have to like it.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013     

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Supreme Court Schizophrenia
(3 comments) When we say the Supreme Court has been politicized we besmirch the meaning of politics. They're fan boys for the GOP.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013     

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A call from Justice
(1 comments) Justice is a universal human ideal. So why not build a society on that foundation? Why not reach for what we have always wanted? Why not Justism?

Wednesday, May 8, 2013     

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Perchance to Dream
(7 comments) The patient has cancer, diabetes, heart failure, bird flu and gangrene is setting in. We have been diagnosed. Why doesn't it seem to make any difference? Is it perhaps because we're demoralized? Let's pretend, just between you and me, that there is a way out of our dismal reality.

Thursday, April 18, 2013     

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Disempowering Terrorism
(5 comments) A refusal to be terrorized

Wednesday, April 3, 2013     

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The Canary in the Coal Mine Tells All
(3 comments) An old friend warns us about the new economy

Tuesday, March 5, 2013     

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The Politics of Show versus the Politics of Go
(1 comments) If you want to stop the man from keeping you down you have to keep the man down, constantly, vigilantly, forcefully, with slow, steady political pressure.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013     

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The Twilight of the False Gods
(5 comments) A flu shot for the current epidemic of bullshit.

Sunday, January 13, 2013     

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The Short, Sad Life of Greedaholics Anonymous
(5 comments) Sometimes it takes a grand human tragedy to put the petty problems of our petty lives into proper perspective. While we were nursing new year's hangovers caused by BevMo Beaujolais and generic Gin, the Important People of the World were trying, and failing, to recover from a terrible addiction: greed.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012     

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Victory in the Culture War
(15 comments) There are battles yet to come. But the tide has turned, the lines are smashed, the outcome no longer in doubt. We have won the culture war.

Friday, November 2, 2012     

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Romney fakes left, scores
(23 comments) Romney is running far to the left of Romney. That he had to do it is encouraging, that he may get away with it is depressing.

Thursday, October 4, 2012     

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Obama wins? So what?
(2 comments) Obama needs to make this election about the will of the people. As in, will the will of the people be thwarted, yet again?

Saturday, September 8, 2012     

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Debunking debunking
(2 comments) A liberal without ideals and hope is no liberal at all. Ideals are a promissory note. A liberal, by any name and at all times, is one who does his or her level best to cash that check.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012     

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The Higgs Boson Speaks!
(6 comments) The God particle preaches on the Folly of Man

Tuesday, July 10, 2012     

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The Revolution Equation
(11 comments) Do you want to know when big change will come? Just do the math.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012     

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This is not a Nostalgia Column
(8 comments) Retro is more than a passing fashion. It's a symptom.

Thursday, May 10, 2012     

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The Continuing Killing of Trayvon Martin
(3 comments) If you want to understand the enduring interest in this tragedy you have to see it for what it is: An exorcism.

Saturday, April 7, 2012     

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Midnight Strikes at Five to Four
(3 comments) Five Supreme Court justices: All it takes to save democracy from itself!

Sunday, March 11, 2012     

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The Devil's Dictionary; Revised and Updated
(5 comments) Continuing the necessary work of the master. I tackle the wisdom of the ages, at my peril, for your amusement.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012     

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An Air Kiss for the Hollywood Liberal
(1 comments) Defending the insufferable. With pleasure.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012     

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Welcome to the big leagues, Mitt
(2 comments) If you think the GOP is disenchanted with Willard "Mitt" Romney now, wait until Obama gets done with him.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011     

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Helping Santa with The List
(1 comments) Naughty or Nice, Santa knows JUST what you need!

Monday, November 14, 2011     

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Premium Citizenship: A Marketing Plan to Save America.
(3 comments) How to soak the rich without passing a tax the rich would never allow us to pass in the first place.

Thursday, November 3, 2011     

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Occupy Wall Street In The Spotlight
(2 comments) The true source of the occupy movement's terrible, awesome power. And how to keep it strong.

Monday, September 5, 2011     

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Teaching History to a Digital Generation
(6 comments) The digital generation has historical amnesia. But whose fault is that? Look in the mirror, my grizzled veteran friends.

Thursday, August 4, 2011     

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The Debt Strike Pledge
(4 comments) Default was a bluff and our so-called leaders folded. The enemies of the people won. Next time we should call that bluff and make them feel the pain. A call for a general strike on debt.

Friday, July 8, 2011     

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Playing Pretend in Pakistan
(3 comments) Predators, Pakistan, and implausible deniability

Tuesday, June 28, 2011     

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Selling the Revolution
(6 comments) A sales seminar for progressives. Because the future doesn't make itself.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011     

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Fade to Black: Movies going nowhere
(3 comments) Some call it art. I call it trendiness. Of a particularly obnoxious kind.

Thursday, May 26, 2011     

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The Poisoned Chalice
(5 comments) Where do these strange Republican candidates come from? What got them here? And where did they go?

Friday, May 6, 2011     

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An urgent message to good people everywhere
(5 comments) A call for a general strike against the bad people who rule our world

Tuesday, April 19, 2011     

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Breaking up with Obama?
(11 comments) It's not your fault, it's mine. No, really. I'm not just saying that. I'm a progressive, and I blew it.

Friday, March 25, 2011     

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Libya, Leadership and Lives
(6 comments) Getting it right in Libya. When everyone is against you, except the people you are helping, you are probably doing it right.

Monday, March 7, 2011     

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Broken Unions, Broken Nation, and the Lie that Keeps us Broke
(17 comments) The nation is broken because the game is fixed.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011     

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"The Memoirs of the White House Janitor." By Cosmo "Ace" Willingham.
(6 comments) Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld have had their say. Now the janitor for the Bush White House writes his book and sets the record straight.

Thursday, January 27, 2011     

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Everyone is born a Socialist
(38 comments) The conservatives have it wrong. The philosophical roots of the progressive project are born inside us.

Monday, January 10, 2011     

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A New Year's Apology from an Incurable Writer
(5 comments) Why do we write? And to whom? Dangerous questions that cry out for answers in these perilous times.

Thursday, December 23, 2010     

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Which Side Are You On?
(2 comments) We have to choose, and the American people have to choose, whether they like it or not.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010     

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WikiLeaks Attacks Heaven
(2 comments) The secret files of Heaven exposed!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010     

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Obama Progressivism: The Post-Mortem
(11 comments) How to blow a mandate in 22 easy months. And what comes next.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010     

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San Francisco: The Beautiful Bubble
(2 comments) A love letter to my city, the San Francisco Giants and Giants fans everywhere.

Friday, October 22, 2010     

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The Counterrevolutionary Delusion
(18 comments) What the rise of the right is really about. Counterrevolution as social pathology.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010     

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How do you know if you're an artist?
(12 comments) Are you an artist if nobody sees you?

Thursday, September 23, 2010     

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Where is the progressive Tea Party?
(22 comments) There is no progressive movement in America, just progressives. Why can't we get it together? Where is the progressive Tea Party?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010     

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A Walk on the Bright Side
(9 comments) What is there to feel good about in our season of discontent? More than you think.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010     

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A message from God: You're Fired
(8 comments) From the Desk of The Lord: I hereby terminate all spokespersons, authorities, publicists and uniformed clergy from my employ. They are all fired, they no longer speak for me. The merciful and righteous among them may continue in my good graces, but their pronouncements and edicts are strictly their own. I will no longer be responsible for obligations taken on my behalf by them, in any case whatsoever.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010     

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Lazy-Americans: The Last Despised Minority
(7 comments) Laziness is the ultimate sin. And I'm the ultimate sinner. But I'm not alone, not by a long shot. When we wish one another a good day, we say "take it easy." If you want to wish someone a bad day, say the opposite. You'll lose a friend, but how virtuous of you!

Monday, July 19, 2010     

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An Open Letter to the Tea Partiers
(12 comments) The Tea Partiers are not going away, no matter how fervently we wish they would. Screaming at them does as much good as their screaming at us. I offer this with civility, from one American to another, in the sincere hope that it will help.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010     

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What do we lose if we "lose" in Afghanistan?
(27 comments) Everybody here agrees, we should get out of Afghanistan. But not everyone faces the facts: If we do that, we lose. What happens when we lose in Afghanistan? When is harsh military power justified? And when is it not? And how do we know the difference? A few rules of thumb.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010     

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The BP oil conspiracy: Coming Attractions!
(8 comments) What really happened in the Gulf is far worse than your worst nightmares. But some courageous souls specialize in nightmares, and here's what they're dreaming up, right now.

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