Gettin' A Little Snippy

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Getting’ A Little Snippy

By Eric Malone

So our Prevaricator in Chief was getting a little hot under the collar..."a little snippy," as Al Gore might say, if he weren't busy testifying under oath about Global Warming before Congress.

Or maybe it was just the Klieg lights at the Press Con.

My favorite phrase this whole week was Tony Snow-Job, Secretary of Spinning Contemporary History, explaining why it would be futile to have Karl "Kingmaker" Rove, Harriet "Supreme Court Wannabe" Miers, and Kyle "My Email Was Published in the New York Times" Sampson testify before Congress.

"Memories are hazy at this juncture," said Tony with a straight face, recalling both the Alzheimer Administration of the 80s and the Dynasty of Number 41 that took us into the 90s.

So yesterday, after being politely asked to have Rove, Miers, and Sampson testify about the firing of U.S. Attorneys who prosecuted members of the Repugnicant Brotherhood, President Raisin Brain was getting steamed. And he laid down his conditions.

"You can talk to 'em," he told us, "but not under oath. You can have private interviews, but no transcripts."

Well, evidently he hasn't heard that there's a new Sheriff in town, Deputy Conyers, and that after years of the Democrats having subpoena envy, this morning the House Judiciary Committee voted to use subpoenas to force Karl, Harriet, Kyle, and maybe even Alberto to testify in public, and swearing on a stack o' Bibles to tell the truth under penalty of purge-ery.

Just like a certain philandering White House resident about 9 years ago.

Fact is, the Evil Spawn of 41 is already losing in the Court of Public Opinion. We figure: Why not testify under oath if you're telling the truth and have nothing to hide?

Good question.

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting answer. I know I can't wait to see how long a President can hang on to an Attorney General fighting subpoenas before firing him, while making his Administration look like a bunch of liars.

Oh wait. Didn't Tricky Dick already do that with John Mitchell and Kleindienst? Those who cannot remember the past...

George "...are condemned to...something or other..." Santayana

Eric Malone has been writing about politics with a sardonic sense of humor through more than one apocalyptic Administration. He is a subversive dedicated to revolution through thoughtful laughter.

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