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Debate and Switch

Obama – McCain Debate

Tuesday October 7, 2008

Belmont University

Nashville, Tennessee

By Eric Malone

October 8, 2008

Like many of you I managed to stay awake long enough to watch the second Presidential debate last night and I took copious notes.

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To save you the time of having to plow through your local Corporate Media Punditry Regurgitation, here is the ADHD transcript edited for your instant gratification:

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Tom Brokaw: Good evening and welcome to tonight’s second Presidential debate in a state that even Al Gore couldn’t carry during the Great Heist of 2000. I’m Tom Brokaw because a lot of noisy right-wing nutjobs wouldn’t let Keith Olberman anywhere near a teleprompter this Silly Season. And now let’s welcome our two guest speakers, one of whom will be measuring the curtains in the Oval Office four weeks from tonight: Senator John McCain from the state that wouldn’t endorse a holiday for Martin Luther King, and Senator Barack Obama from the Windy City with a proud tradition of Deceased Voter Registration.

(APPLAUSE)

Brokaw: Our first question in the townhall forum tonight is from Allen Shaffer in the cheap seats.

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ALLEN SHAFFER: Whatchu gonna do real quick-like to bail out real people instead of fat cats?

Barack Obama: Make no mistake, this is the worst crisis we’ve seen since the Savings and Loan scandal under Bush’s daddy, when John McCain was one of the Keating Five. We’ve gotta fix up the infrastructure, take care of health care, and energy. And the middle class needs a tax cut.

John McCain: We need to stop sending $700-billion dollars to people who don’t like us very much, like those bastards on Wall Street. We need to buy up bad home mortgages…in fact, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that when I paused my campaign to give Sarah more time to cram for her debate.

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Eric Malone has been writing about politics with a sardonic sense of humor through more than one apocalyptic Administration. He is a subversive dedicated to revolution through thoughtful laughter.

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