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Tag(s): Afghanistan; Ahmedinejad; Bailout; Bankruptcy; Debate; Democracy; Energy; Government; Iran; Israel; (more...) Money; Oil; People; Republican; Russia (less...)
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October 9, 2008 at 02:17:46

Debate and Switch

by Eric Malone Page 1 of 6 page(s)

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Debate and Switch

Obama – McCain Debate

Tuesday October 7, 2008

Belmont University

Nashville, Tennessee

By Eric Malone

October 8, 2008

Like many of you I managed to stay awake long enough to watch the second Presidential debate last night and I took copious notes.

To save you the time of having to plow through your local Corporate Media Punditry Regurgitation, here is the ADHD transcript edited for your instant gratification:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tom Brokaw: Good evening and welcome to tonight’s second Presidential debate in a state that even Al Gore couldn’t carry during the Great Heist of 2000. I’m Tom Brokaw because a lot of noisy right-wing nutjobs wouldn’t let Keith Olberman anywhere near a teleprompter this Silly Season. And now let’s welcome our two guest speakers, one of whom will be measuring the curtains in the Oval Office four weeks from tonight: Senator John McCain from the state that wouldn’t endorse a holiday for Martin Luther King, and Senator Barack Obama from the Windy City with a proud tradition of Deceased Voter Registration.

(APPLAUSE)

Brokaw: Our first question in the townhall forum tonight is from Allen Shaffer in the cheap seats.

ALLEN SHAFFER: Whatchu gonna do real quick-like to bail out real people instead of fat cats?

Barack Obama: Make no mistake, this is the worst crisis we’ve seen since the Savings and Loan scandal under Bush’s daddy, when John McCain was one of the Keating Five. We’ve gotta fix up the infrastructure, take care of health care, and energy. And the middle class needs a tax cut.

John McCain: We need to stop sending $700-billion dollars to people who don’t like us very much, like those bastards on Wall Street. We need to buy up bad home mortgages…in fact, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that when I paused my campaign to give Sarah more time to cram for her debate.

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Eric Malone has been writing about politics with a sardonic sense of humor through more than one apocalyptic Administration. He is a subversive dedicated to revolution through thoughtful laughter.

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6 comments

Tumerica is a freelance nonfiction writer whose essays on social injustice have appeared in area newspapers. She regularly blogs on progressive political issues, food, and beauty. She writes book reviews of non-fiction books, as well as writing articles on writing for other writers. Tumerica is a published poet, with her works appearing in literary magazines and anthologies. Tumerica is also a fanatic foodie who is currently working on a cookbook.
TumericaTumerica is a freelance nonfiction writer whose essays on social injustice have appeared in area newspapers. She regularly blogs on progressive political issues, food, and beauty. She writes book reviews of non-fiction books, as well as writing articles on writing for other writers. Tumerica is a published poet, with her works appearing in literary magazines and anthologies. Tumerica is also a fanatic foodie who is currently working on a cookbook.

Debate II Crib Notes

Oh, I enjoyed this piece immensely. Whatever you are paid, it's not enough. Sheer genius. Maybe you could e-mail this over to the The Daily Show, and Jon Stewart could read parts of it? Or maybe Saturday Night Live? Too good not to share. I Buzzed you on Yahoo.

Tumerica

by Tumerica (13 articles, 0 quicklinks, 6 diaries, 41 comments) on Thursday, October 9, 2008 at 8:51:39 AM

Eric Malone has been writing about politics with a sardonic sense of humor through more than one apocalyptic Administration. He is a subversive dedicated to revolution through thoughtful laughter.
Eric MaloneEric Malone has been writing about politics with a sardonic sense of humor through more than one apocalyptic Administration. He is a subversive dedicated to revolution through thoughtful laughter.

Thank You!

You are too kind! I very much appreciate your comments on the article about last week's "debate," although you should know that I am actually not paid for doing this (yet). I have been writing for years, sometimes for money, but currently I am doing it for the love of it.

It is comments like yours that keep me going! Thanks for writing--more to come!

Eric

by Eric Malone (11 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 6 comments) on Monday, October 13, 2008 at 10:02:17 AM

I am concerned about bring peace and prosperity to everyone in the world. I am concerned that people with too much power and wealth tend to be oppressive toward those who do not. I think the best policy is a balanced one. Balance comes when opportunity and motivation meet compassion.
im4unityI am concerned about bring peace and prosperity to everyone in the world. I am concerned that people with too much power and wealth tend to be oppressive toward those who do not. I think the best policy is a balanced one. Balance comes when opportunity and motivation meet compassion.

Great piece. Just left out one thing.

Thanks for the laughs. I just wish you had added "I know how to do that" at the end of each of McCain's comments.

Its obvious, that, in the real debate, McCain had been instructed to say that, over and over, even though he never really said HOW he would do any of it. But, it was a good line. Probably most of his voters will just cling to the line, and never realize it doesn't mean anything.

by im4unity (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 54 comments) on Thursday, October 9, 2008 at 1:05:03 PM

Thanks!

Yes, I agree with you--

McCain kept making that comment alright--and my article was just simply getting too long! I appreciate your thoughts, however. Just nice to know that someone actually reads this stuff!

Thanks for taking the time to write!

Eric

by Eric Malone (11 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 6 comments) on Monday, October 13, 2008 at 10:03:55 AM

A/S/L: 67/M/Southern CA. Day job: Teacher-Librarian. Lived/worked in Japan 32 yrs for US Dept.of Defense Dependents Schools. Pt. time as broadcast journalist for TV-Asahi, NHK-TV, NTV. Japan correspondent for Colored Stone magazine. Freelance writer. First love: sightreading serious chamber music; reading/writing. Tennis/golf/sailing. In midst of messy/expensive divorce. Can't wait to return to Midwest roots in Wis.
Larry RetzackA/S/L: 67/M/Southern CA. Day job: Teacher-Librarian. Lived/worked in Japan 32 yrs for US Dept.of Defense Dependents Schools. Pt. time as broadcast journalist for TV-Asahi, NHK-TV, NTV. Japan correspondent for Colored Stone magazine. Freelance writer. First love: sightreading serious chamber music; reading/writing. Tennis/golf/sailing. In midst of messy/expensive divorce. Can't wait to return to Midwest roots in Wis.

Satire

Great job! Shades of Jonathon Swift ala Mark Twain. We need more humor like this. A whole LOT more. Keep up the good work.

by Larry Retzack (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 30 comments) on Thursday, October 9, 2008 at 4:15:24 PM

Sincere Thanks!

Well thank you very kindly for your compliments there Larry!

Being compared to Jonathan Swift, one of my literary heroes, is a great honor!

And I promise there is more to come. I will try to post something Wednesday night after the next debate, and I usually have something sardonic to say just about every week.

It's readers like you who keep me going! Thanks for writing in!

Eric

by Eric Malone (11 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 6 comments) on Monday, October 13, 2008 at 10:06:45 AM

6 comments

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