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Welcome to the Earthly Ice Crème Shoppe

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opednews.com Headlined to H3 7/19/08

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Welcome to the Earthly Ice Crème Shoppe ... owned and operated by and for all its inhabitants.  Close to seven billion flavors and counting.  Way more than 31.  Some flavors will make you gag or worse. But many more will have you wondering why you waited so long to have a lick. 

Manufacturers Disclaimer: Ingredients and named flavors listed do not guarantee enjoyability or quality. Some flavors are repeated versions of past failures. Many leave an aftertaste or in some cases, long term burning sensations. These temporary discomforts can be quenched by taking a Conscious Tasting Class. Wherever you happen to be 24/7, the class is there.  

Some flavors, like Lao Tzu Lemon, offer total refreshment no matter what your mood. The most favorite flavors have retained their centuries old popularity by keeping it simple. They have always enjoyed what you might call an 'open' edge. 

The Earthly Ice Crème Shoppe is a til the end of time, monetary-free non-profit offering the flavors of the world to all.  Since no funds ever change hands, it is hoped that whatever flavor is chosen, each inhabitant will seriously consider sharing some with the resident standing closest by. 

Here are some notables, picked at random. (Most on this list are from an area of the Earth that sees the rest of the world through a rather foggy window). 

1. Compassio'Nut'. 

One of the originals. A smoothly textured mixture of natural softness and selfless concern that has never fallen out of the top 10.   

2. Passion 'Nut'.

Another early well received original and still one of the most sought after.  In all recorded flavor polling histories, this tried and true one has the widest demographic support ever.  Also called Love What You Cookie Dough.   

3. There's No 'Taste' Like Home.

This flavor's most intriguing character is that each individual will taste something completely different from the next.  It's the only flavor that allows you to enjoy it over and over and over again and, should you live long enough, taste them all.  Adam and Eve wish they'd tried this one. Perhaps they did.  I'm not sure.  

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4. Spin De Mint.

A tired, boring and repeated attempt at convincing the customer what it tastes like prior to tasting for him or herself.  Since it rarely lives up to its hype, it usually gets tossed after a couple bites.  However, it still has a strong following among cultish groups who like to play Follow the Leader.  Very popular in the United States of America.  Originally named Believe You Me Mint. 

5. Chocfulovit.

Self absorbed flavor of the Ice Cremanati.  Not available but to a select few.  Many who've tasted it are either not talking or just plain gone. Satisfying, it is not.  Ironically, interest in it is high.  There have been reports that amphibians are somehow involved.  

6. GM Oh No.

One of the newest and a most secretive flavor.  First, no one knows what the ingredients are.  Second, no one knows where it's concocted. Very confusing in that many have eaten it without knowing they have. Most are not sure. 

7. The De Cider.

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A rather bitter tasting, hard as a rock frozen dessert that, if taken seriously, can cause internal bleeding.  Most who try it though, just laugh.  

8. Lone 'Nut'.

Introduced in 1964.  Discontinued in 1978. This flavor wasn't as originally advertised.  Many of the ingredients on the label were proven false.  Many, at the very least, were questionable.  Complaints poured in.  In 1978, it was then again claimed to have the very same ingredients it had in the first place.  Though millions still recall its obvious foul taste, Earthy Ice Crème Shoppe will not be able to reopen the original ingredient records again until 2028.  

9. 19 guys with 'Nuts'.

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61 years on this jumpin' green sphere. Musician. Own and operate a music store to help kids find a possible life long friend. I believe in the soul and the search. Two sons. Published songwriter. play bass, piano and gut string guitar. there are no (more...)
 

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at the brilliance of this piece I'm actually c... by Jan Baumgartner on Saturday, Jul 19, 2008 at 8:00:16 PM
      Thanx Jan. Your fla... by mikel paul on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 1:01:03 PM
Calling this article brilliant is a lot ... by Martin Mayor on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 1:51:45 PM
Sour Grape.   Everyone has different tas... by Jan Baumgartner on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 2:39:48 PM
     .............Mr Mayor.&nb... by mikel paul on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 2:40:27 PM
Introduced in the early 1960s, this murky flavor s... by Rady Ananda on Saturday, Jul 19, 2008 at 10:41:15 PM
btw, if Rob ever institutes such a contest, I nomi... by Rady Ananda on Saturday, Jul 19, 2008 at 10:45:56 PM
     I love New York. Their ho... by mikel paul on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 1:24:52 PM
the old popular "box" was updated, on Fr... by Rob Kall on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 2:53:35 PM
that's a pretty cool feature.... by Rady Ananda on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 6:58:05 PM
This delightful taste sensation comes wrapped in a... by Cheryl Abraham on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 12:31:12 PM
     That's why this shopp... by mikel paul on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 1:44:24 PM
"Curiouser and curiouser!" cried Alice.... by Cheryl Abraham on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 2:55:46 PM
These two flavors are as complementary as yin and ... by Dave Berman on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 5:56:51 PM
now where's GW's nose?... by Rady Ananda on Sunday, Jul 20, 2008 at 6:59:20 PM
Is it real? or the stuff of myth and legend..whene... by Aurora on Monday, Jul 21, 2008 at 8:21:12 PM
     Aurora....I've notice... by mikel paul on Tuesday, Jul 22, 2008 at 11:25:37 AM
don't know about the entreecnidaria is too muc... by Aurora on Tuesday, Jul 22, 2008 at 3:18:05 PM