Summer's Almost Over - Why Aren't We Dead?

It's Noon on September 1st as I write these words on my laptop, wondering why I'm here to do this at all.

According to unconventional wisdom – supposedly the best barometer of what's really happening now – I shouldn't be here right now. I should be dead, somewhere: shot in the back of the head, lined up against the wall, gassed in an alley, or otherwise “euthanized” like all those people on the 9/11 planes that never really hit anything at all.

And yet I feel so alive?

Either that or incarcerated in a camp, or on the way to one? Somewhere out west there's a FEMA bunk, just waiting for little old me, or so they said. Where oh where could my gun-enforced ticket to the re-education resort be? I was so ready to chuck the bills and the job and spend my days on the government dime, too.

Maybe it got lost in the mail?

And yet here I sit, sipping coffee and typing away. So I can't help but wonder what's gone wrong, now. Or if there was ever anything THAT wrong to begin with, come to think of it.

It wouldn't be the first time we got misled by “friends in the know.”

You see, we got told, back in May and June, by certain persons (that you know all too well) that this was going to be THE Summer. It was all going to come down the pipe between THIS June and August. Just like it was supposed to come down the pipe the previous year's summer, and the year before that, and the year before that, too.

Seeing a pattern yet?

The evil master plans of the people who really rule the world were going to be put into operation, and we were all gonna die. Engineered plagues, economic meltdown, concentration camps, wars and rumors of wars, stormtroopers in the streets, Nazi flying saucers in the sky.

The Summer of evoL, come to get us with a big, hungry mouth...

And yet here we all are? Did something go wrong, then? Plans go awry? The plague isn't ready to roll out? The stormtroopers are wondering why the purple kool-aid looks a little off? The economic downturn is turning around, however slowly? Too many people made too much noise about the camps, even if they aren't there at all?

The Nazis suddenly realize they DON'T have a working flying saucer after all?

Well, count me bummed out. I mean, if you can't trust the paranoid, doom and gloom naysayers to tell you the world's coming to an end, who CAN you trust? I thought it was all over except for the screaming, darn it.

It's almost as if we got misled.

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