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Top Ten Reasons Dick Cheney Should Run for President in 2008

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10). It might be nice to have another “Tricky Dick” to kick around again.

9). Dick Cheney is the only leader with enough clout and experience to champion legislation the country desperately needs: A law allowing open season on trial lawyers.

8). Dick’s the guy we need to tell the rest of the world to f@@k off.

7). “The country is on the right track, things are going fantastic in Iraq, and it only took 13 months for FEMA to deliver my new trailer after Katrina blew my old trailer away.” – Ricky Bobby jr. (former NASCAR runner up).

6). “Dick's 4 U.S” will make great bumper sticker. -- Phylis Schaffley (Daughters of the American Revolution).

5). President Cheney will make sure we find Saddam’s missing WMD, even if we have to invade and occupy Iran, Syria, and France to find them.

4). “My shares in Halliburton are sure to quadruple.” – Jeffrey Skilling (former financial wizard at Enron).

3). Eight years of seasoning under the guidance and tutoring of George W. Bush have finally made Cheney ready for the big time.

2). The country needs a straight shooter like Dick to blast a hole in the Bush deficit.

1). Dick Cheney has already dodged the draft enough times already; let’s make sure he answers the call this time.

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About the Author -- Scott D. O'Reilly is an independent writer with degrees in philosophy and psychology. His work has been published in The Humanist, Philosophy Now, Intervention Magazine, Think, and The Philosopher's Magazine. He is a (more...)
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