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Dennis Miller Laughs Off Global Warming on Tonight Show

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At times, Dennis Miller's jowls trembled and his voice shook nervously. It was as if the seasoned comedian feared getting punched out of his chair by the audience.

He was spinning off one-liner after one-liner in response to a surprisingly refreshing question from Jay Leno: "So what do you think about global warming? I think I know, but..."

On Tuesday night, Miller appeared on the Tonight Show. Leno got onto the topic of climate change after he admitted that Al Gore's documentary was pretty good, and he seemed close to publicly ratifying the consensus held by a battleship's worth of the world's leading scientists--that global warming is a man made problem.

Leno unfortunately never voiced his opinion, but Miller did. Miller squirmed around in his chair and snorted out fidgety laughs all while unleashing a comedy skit that would have made Exxon Mobile's public relations team blush.

"I don't know if we can really trust 100 years of scientific data," Miller said--and these quotes are paraphrased. Then Miller questioned the accuracy of temperature records dating back to 1906, deliberately confusing the earth's core temperature with atmospheric temperature. "I mean, what, in 1906 they said, 'Let's stick a wick down the possum hole, then we'll go churn butter...and next year we'll invent flight?'"

Ha, ha, ha, ha. (Of course not.) They were probably too busy refining the wheel.

"I'm hedging my bets," he continued when pressed again by Leno. "My son wants a hybrid. What do you think of hybrids Jay? You know automobiles, are they safe?"

Jay replied that they are very safe and that they have airbags, but Miller was ultimately going for a laugh line.

"When the air bag deploys, doesn't that contribute to global warming?" Ha, ha, ha, ha. "No because I'm thinking about my great, great, great to the tenth grandson getting a little sweat on his upper lip in 2226, while my son is driving around in a Fisher Price toy."

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Miller also asserted that he might be able to believe "An Inconvenient Truth" if it was made by anybody but Al Gore. Miller said that Al Gore already proved himself a phony, and he probably has a bunch of advisers who tell him what's politically best to do.

Miller is like the arrogant, entitled kid in high school who lets you know how little he cares about anything but himself with each outrageous comment.

He was never endearing as a comedian, and perhaps because his career was in a tail spin, he joined forces with the dark side after 9/11. One can remember him glowering at the audience with an air of superiority over Chris Farley when the rookie upstaged him in one of his hilarious rants as Norman Schwarzkopf.

Before 9/11, Miller was stumbling around, lost in the wilderness of Hollywood has-beens. After his success on SNL, Miller spent most of the 90s hosting a dingy little half-hour show on HBO called Dennis Miller Live. He landed a job with ABC's Monday Night Football in 2000, but viewers weren't impressed and he was gone two years later.

Before 9/11, Miller sided with the left. It must have been cold and dark out there in the land of wash-ups.

Miller found the loving hand of corporate America when he took a hawkish position on the military after 9/11. In 2003, Miller basked in the warmth of returned celebritydom every time he flaunted his convictionless heart.

Less than a month before the Iraq invasion in 2003, Benedict Miller appeared on the Tonight Show to declare war against the left. "You know, Jay, I used to be a liberal," Miller said. "You look at what happens in the State of California with untethered liberalism."

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

That was obviously a jab at "west coast liberals," a narrative about Democrats--filled with connotations of licentiousness and perversity--that helped the party of Ted Haggard and Mark Foley tremendously throughout the early 00's.

Miller, buoyed by the audience, ranted on uninterrupted for five to ten minutes. "I would call the French scumbags," he added, "but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum."

Ah, the old attack on the French--the promised land where liberals go when they die.

That year, Miller joined forces with Sean Hannity, doing regular commentary on Hannity & Colmes. He got his own political program in 2004 on CNBC.

Miller made a comment that year that epitomizes his smirking absurdity. "That's why I like Bush," Miller said. "He doesn't over-think it. He wakes up every morning, jumps out of bed, lands on his two feet, scratches his balls and says, 'Let's kill some f-ing terrorists!'"

CNBC canceled him in 2005 due to poor ratings. As Miller continues to flail and grope for any way into the spotlight, his one reliable avenue to the cameras is via the O'Reilly Factor.

If Miller is loyal to his own disloyal heart, he'll flip flop again and embrace the left wing. Stay tuned.
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Dean Powers lives in Castleton, VT. He has apprenticed at several newspapers including The Nation. He currently writes for OpEdNews. He can be found at facebook.com/deanppowers.

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