Americans, perhaps, learned yesterday why the Republican National Convention was so aroused when the audience chanted "Drill, baby, drill."
Republican Bush Interior Department officials likely chanted a version of that refrain in government offices in Denver and Washington DC as cocaine was passed around and young perky woman sent by the Big Oil companies unclothed themselves--except the chant perhaps included the word "me" after "drill." Like, "Drill me, baby, drill me."
A investigation by the Interior Department's inspector general, Earl E. Devaney, found that employees in this department “frequently consumed alcohol at industry functions, had used cocaine and marijuana, and had sexual relationships with oil and gas company representatives.”
Why would a bunch of daddies' daughters have illicit sex with obscene Republican government officials entrusted with ensuring Big Oil companies pay their royalties?
To illustrate, let's use a semi-fictitious example: we'll call him John McBush. McBush is a snot-nosed, button-up-shirt-and-tie young Republican prick with a greasy flat-top working at the Interior Department.
McBush landed the job because he networked with the College Republicans or some other breeding ground for greedy, immoral money-idolaters, and his resume wound up in a short-list of blooming, soon-to-be corrupt Republicans. McBush is perfect for a government job ostensibly enforcing regulations on...the Oil Industry.
McBush works in the royalty-in-kind program based in Denver, where $11 million passes through the office each day. That's a lot of money. The kind of money that makes Republican frat-boys and buxom young Republican girls go weak in the knees.
The royalty-in-kind program has one big mission: make sure oil companies cough up royalties owed (money or resources) to the government so the American tax-payer can reap the financial rewards of domestic drilling--after all, what's the point of opening up protected federal land and allowing off-shore drilling if we can't enjoy a cheaper lifestyle as a result?
The price of gasoline certainly isn't dropping! In essence, without a strong royalty-in-kind program, we're just making the oil companies richer for longer before we switch to alternative fuels.
Quick re-cap: How does the American taxpayer profit from domestic drilling? Two ways: lower gas prices and/or compensation from the Oil Industry. Right? And we know that gas prices are not getting lower. That leaves compensation, which comes in the form of either cash or resources: oil or natural gas.
McBush's department, the Denver Minerals Management Services, oversees royalties given to the US Government in the form of oil or natural resources, which totaled $4 billion last year.
Basically, McBush must mak sure that after a Big Oil ad campaign fools the public into supporting off-shore drilling, and lawmakers consent to giving away federal land to Big Oil, that Americans get a small fraction of the financial rewards in return.
So why would a Shell employee sleep with McBush? He can't hold a conversation. He's definitely not a family man. Frank-the-tank is still his hero at age 28. Why, dear reader, would she sleep with him and defile your government?
Why would Chevron Corp., Shell, Hess Corp. and Denver-based Gary-Williams Energy Corp. give nearly a third of the employees in the Denver office gratuities and gifts? Why would this office operate in a fraternity atmosphere with cocaine, drugs and promiscuity? Why would Big Oil companies compensate Interior Department officials with ski-outings, golf trips, and football games?
Isn't Big Oil in the business to make money? These trips and baggies of cocaine cost some serious CASH! How about the prostitutes? What do they fetch these days? Chevron Corp. doesn't send me on golf trips! How about you? So why would these Big Oil companies shower so much affection on Interior Department employees in charge of enforcing government regulations on Big Oil?
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