Thank God there is someone out there who has the courage to stand up against an evil so blatantly anti-American as to hurt this country in a time of war. For right now there is such an American-hater who has placed your family and mine in danger.
That someone who is willing to defend us from that kind of danger is Bill O'Reilly. I'm talking about his pledge to keep Rosie O'Donnell from making the terrorists hate us even more than they do without daytime television. They used to hate us on a 10 level on a 10 scale. With Tokyo Rosie (and they say Bill doesn't know satire) at the Hate-America helm, they hate us 11 out of 11. Maybe even worse. Lord help us if it hits 13.
Thankfully Rosie wasn't voicing her anti-everything-we-stand-for back on 9-11. Just think how much harder those creeps would have smashed those planes into those buildings. But even today, Islamo-Fascists circle the television most mornings after prayers, watching the View, just waiting for Rosie's next marching order. And this past week she gave them loud and clear. I'm not sure what they were since they must have been given in some sort of code. An evil hate-America code
So today, finally, Bill announced to a breath-holding world that he's not going to take it any more. God knows how he's been able to take it all this time without demeaning Rosie and battling back at the monster who is probably hiding outside his Long Island home - outside all of our homes - just waiting to pounce on our families, our freedoms and our troops. That's the problem with dealing with this kind of evil. She can be everywhere at once, kind of like God. Except Rosie isn't God cause God wouldn't hurt America or our troops and then hurt Bill and his family. The loutess.
Actually, since most of our troops are in Iraq, Rosie's probably also over there waiting outside their barracks, or in Dover, Delaware outside of the warehouses where un-photographed coffins are slipped in under the cover of night. She knows where they are because, you know, she helped kill them.
Bill promised to watch Rosie and the next "show" she takes on. And while Bill has granted her a freedom of speech and right to dissent, with that freedom and right comes a responsibility. The responsibility to not say what might just end up killing America and collaterally damaging Bill's family. Everybody knows you can't yell "Hurt Bill's family!" in a crowded theater. People are trying to watch a movie and they have a right not to be disturbed by some Hollywood liberal-elitist. So it is that if Rosie does not kowtow to the rights and freedom as Bill sees them, he will come after Rosie and her sponsors, holding them accountable.
For the record, Bill said it was okay for Rosie to blame Bush for the Iraq situation but that the reason he was going after Rosie was that she said that the US military killed 650,000 Iraqi civilians. For another part of the record, she never said that. But if we were going to stop going after dissenters just because they didn't do what we say they've done, we're just undermining the troops, hating America and emboldening the enemy...and the next thing you know...Bill's family is in danger. And that's not the America Bill tells me I know.
Tonight on the Factor, Bill will be pulling on his investigative journalist hat and bringing in someone who can give some real balance to the story: Donald Trump.
Disclaimer: Steve Young is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (www.greatfailure.com) and his "All The News That's Fit To Spoof" appears in L.A. Daily News opeds every Sunday (www.dailynews.com/steveyoung), right next to Bill's...really.