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No occupation without representation (and other electoral musings)

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If America wants to dominate the globe in the name of spreading democracy (sic), how about giving some love to the subjugated? For example, let’s extend the ballot to the citizens of occupied Iraq. Their daily lives are inescapably intertwined with US foreign policy so what better way to teach them about democratic values than to give them a say as to which millionaire is the next figurehead of empire? As Rosemarie “RMJ” Jackowski sez: “No occupation without representation.” (Why am I positive that such a plan would result in a landslide for Obama’s pastor?)
Speaking of Rev. Wright, Senator Obama is taking a lot of heat for things that genuinely shouldn’t matter. It’s quite an illustration of how backward, blind, and racist America is that the worst thing the right wing can manage is Obama’s middle name or what his pastor says. The end result is a general public that sees Obama as a liberal (sic) who wants to change (sic) things. The issues, as always, are ignored. The richer get richer, the sick get sicker, the bombs continue to fall, eco-systems decline and vanish, and American Idol is down to its final 10 contestants.
Some of the many reasons to not vote for John McCain: He’s funded by Wall Street. He voted for every war appropriation bill he faced. He voted against single payer health care. He refused to be photographed with San Francisco’s mayor for fear it’d be interpreted that he supported gay marriage. He supports the death penalty, the Israeli war machine, and the fence on the US-Mexican border. He voted to confirm Condoleezza Rice as Secretary of State and to reauthorize the Patriot Act in 2005. Oh sh*t…wait a minute. Those are some of the many reasons to not vote for Barack Obama. Oops, my bad…
And now for the too-logical-to-ever-be-taken-seriously suggestions I make every four years: vote counting must be made foolproof, debates must be open to all candidates, and genuine campaign finance reform (at the very least) must be enacted. Voting should not be held on a Tuesday but instead of over a full weekend. Turnout is bound to be higher over a Friday-Saturday-Sunday period. Also, a "none of the above" option would not only allow disgruntled voters to express their disdain with the alleged two-party system but might also create a run-off election or even a new set of candidates. Speaking of a new set of candidates…

Talk to a progressive (sic) about voting for Ralph Nader or Cynthia McKinney, and you’ll usually hear this: “I’d like to vote for them, but they just can’t win.” Reality check: The only reason Nader or McKinney “can’t” win is because progressives (sic) willingly choose to not vote for them. If everyone currently creaming for that eloquent (sic) corporate Democrat masquerading as a motivational speaker were to vote for Nader or McKinney, we’d have what amounts to American Revolution, Part Deux.

P.S. The next time someone tells you America has a two-party system, I suggest you demand a recount.
Mickey Z. is the author of the forthcoming novel, CPR for Dummies (Raw Dog Screaming Press). He can be found on the Web at
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