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I'm Very Pleased Winston Churchill is Dead

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Who would've thought it? One time, they let ME into the houses of parliament. The fools! Just about every other time I have been down there I have been protesting outside it, nevertheless, this time I was in there.

I won't tell you why I was there other than to say we were meeting a Member of Parliament about something in order to be not listened to in the way that only those people can not listen to you.

After arguing with her for a while, we got a little tour. There were some Japanese tourists taking the tour with us. After having the various rooms explained to us we got to the statue of Winston Churchill. It was shortly after this that I nearly got thrown out.

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The tour guide was going on about what a great man he was and every point she said in his favour I interjected with one against him...these included...

  • Rather bad treatment of the suffragettes
  • saying that he was "strongly in favor of using poisoned gas" against "uncivilized tribes" and "recalcitrant arabs"
  • saying this "I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place.". He was referring to the Palestinian conflict.
  • Being at least partly responsible for the pointless slaughter at Gallipoli in World War 1
  • Using the army against British protestors who were marching because they didn't have any food.
  • Denying the fire brigade access to a beseiged building so the protestors had to choose surrender or death
  • It wasn't actually him that was speaking during those snippets of speeches you have heard. They were recorded by an actor to be broadcast on the radio.

There is a lot more I could have mentioned too. The whole time I was saying all of this the tour guide was getting more and more agitated. It was rather funny actually.

All in all, I would just like to point out that not all people in the UK think he was a hero. In fact, a lot of us are quite pleased he is dead.

On the news over here people still like to invoke the spirit of Churchill. Well I for one don't like invoking the spirit of bigoted imperialist thugs.

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Oh, and we managed to smuggle a bottle of vodka in too which I thought was good at the time but knowing what most of them are like you probably get funny looks if you DON'T have a bottle of vodka.

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Scotland's Michael Greenwell has worked, at various times, as a university tutor, a barman, a DJ ("not a very good one," he clarifies), an office lackey, supermarket worker, president of a small charity, a researcher, a librarian, a volunteer worker in Nepal during the civil war there, and "some other things that were too tedious to mention." Nowadays, he explains, "I am always in (more...)
 

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