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World War III Is Going To Be Hilarious

By       Message Bob Cesca       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   2 comments

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Your president giggled and grinned while discussing World War III today.

"But this -- we got a leader in Iran who has announced that he wants to destroy Israel. So I've told people that if you're interested in avoiding [grinning] World War III [end grinning], it seems like you [begin giggling] ought to be interested in preventing them from have the knowledge [end giggling] necessary to make a nuclear weapon."

Hahahaha! Yeah! Zinger! That's funny sh*t. For the record, here's his expression while saying the words "World War Three":

To the rest of the known world, however, World War III a scary thing. It's just below abortion and above rape on the list of the all time unfunniest topics.

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Let's break it down.

1. Iran doesn't have a nuclear weapon, and if they ever developed one, they'd be smart enough to know (despite how we caricaturize Ahmadinejad) that using it would invite their own destruction a thousand times over. Thus, there is no Iranian nuclear threat.

2. Yet the administration is drawing up plans to illegally and preemptively attack anyway, based on the lie that Iran is a nuclear threat.

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3. Congress, despite the president's 24-percent approval rating, won't stop the White House because of, 1) The Fear, and 2) because Congress has allowed the president and vice president to seize unprecedented power which almost entirely circumvents Article I of the Constitution (among other things).

4. Meanwhile, if we do attack, it appears as if Pooty-Poot might bring Russia in on the Iranian side.

5. And there you go. Knee slapping boners all around. Milk just came out of my nose.

They're marketing Iran with more psychotic voracity than Michelle Malkin attacking an injured baby -- and no one can stop them.

As near as I can tell, there doesn't appear to be a governing body or citizen group who can stop them from carrying this out. Congress won't and, honestly, they can't. Last night's Frontline episode, "Cheney's Law," underscored what we've all been worried about: Congress has been rendered ineffectual against the current power madness of the executive.

For example, has Congress clamped down on the president's rampant use of torture? Sure. (Torture is number five on the unfunny syllabus.) The Republican controlled Congress did this, but the president rendered the law pointless with a signing statement.

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Ah yes. Torture. Not to digress too far into this thing, but you know how the president can look us in the eye and say, "we don't torture," as he did in today's press conference? He can say this with impunity because the administration has authored its own definition of torture which is so narrow that anything else -- anything you and I would consider to be torture -- isn't.

If it don't cause organ failure, it ain't torture, Stretchy McStretch-o-rama-funny-pants. In a sense, the president isn't lying when he says "we don't torture." It depends on what your definition of torture is.

This excuse, of course, is the same excuse future enemies will use when they torture... us.

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Bob Cesca is a writer, director, and producer as well as the founder of Camp Chaos Entertainment, an animation studio based near Philadelphia. He's written and produced literally hundreds of animated shorts as well as music videos for Iron Maiden, Meat Loaf, Everclear, Yes and Motley Crue. Just after 9/11, Bob produced and (more...)

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