I swear that the oddest things happen in my life. Have you ever felt a long-standing dislike for someone only to find out that most of their life was spent in such intense pain and suffering that they eventually ended their own life? I don't imagine most people have had that experience. Now, I have.
Back in 1987, I started a small business with two other gentlemen to produce a small town classifieds newspaper geared only to computers and associated technology items. Long story short, the other two gentlemen cheated me out of my share of the business and a year or so of lawsuits, etc., ensued. I had been friends with both gentlemen before the venture was launched and thus felt doubly betrayed. I was a college student at SUNY Albany at the time, a mere babe at 19 years old.
The business we started never did turn a profit. I'm not sure who were the greater idiots, those who stole a business doomed forever to stay in the red, or the guy (me) who wanted to fight for it. At 19, you don't think about those practical matters, you just care that someone took something from you unfairly. One of the gentlemen and I came to an understanding and settled a few months later. The other, a person by the name of Steven Kendrick, a guy who frequented computer bulletin boards and called himself 'Dron', remained someone for whom I would always have intense negative feelings.
I google people from my past every now and then. Imagine my shock when I came across the below (I had known Steven married his girlfriend named Aimee Tweedie, I knew he was into Chemistry, and I had found out he was attempting to become a transgender named Rhiannon):
Kendrick, Steven BOSTON, MA -- Steven Kendrick, also known as Rhiannon Kendrick, passed away on September 4th, 1999. She died in Boston, MA after a long struggle with depression. She was born March 21, 1965 in Rochester, New York. Rhiannon was a recent honors graduate of Hudson Valley Community College and worked as a medical lab technologist. She was a grassroots political activist, an avid computer user and gamer and active in the lgbt community. Rhiannon is survived by a wife of nine years, Aimee Tweedie; her father, Nelson Kendrick; brother, Colin and sister, Jennifer. The wake will be held at Emmanuel Baptist Church, 275 State St., Albany on Friday, September 10th from 6-9 p.m. Funeral services will also be held at Emmanuel Baptist Church on Saturday, September 11th, 11:00 a.m.
I'm now 38 years old. The events with the classified newspaper business were literally half a lifetime ago. I've just found out (yes, just found out tonight, 20 minutes ago) the person who I mainly held responsible took their own life 8 years ago. The really intense hate and dislike I had for Kendrick ended many years ago, but even then, why did I hate this person? What purpose did that hate and dislike serve? That person was unhappy and going through a hell that I could not begin to understand. What purpose does hate ever serve? Now, today, looking back on it all, I cannot feel anything than utter guilt, embarrassment and foolishness. Wherever you are Steven Rhiannon Dron Kendrick, I hope you are at peace.