Cuban cars for sale
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The United States and Cuba kissed and made up eight months ago and the baby will be coming soon. The countries have decided to allow one another back into their good graces, if not all at once, at least enough to allow a freer exchange of goods, travel, and ideas on how to keep citizens repressed, yet noncombative.
Post-coital conversations have begun. President Obama looks forward to warmer discussions about topics that seemed unthinkable not long ago, including discovering weaknesses that would allow for more efficient spying on Venezuelan foreign affairs and whether or not Lola Falana can be coaxed out of retirement.
Last December, Cuban-American Marco Rubio blasted the announcement of restored diplomatic relations; however, other senators are drooling at the thought of learning more about the Cuban way of life. "Did you know their women still wear aprons?" commented Mitch McConnell. "You've got to give Fidel credit for keeping the lid on all those years. He knew how to keep the masses in line, and Raul does, too. We're not so different when you consider where the money is--out of the hands of the common folk. That's what's important, and a good cigar. And rum."
Open communication lines will allow Cuba better access to the Internet where they can learn about world news, the latest fashions, hacking tips, and how to make a bomb using materials found in their garages. Cubans will be able to explore popular culture, a topic largely hidden for years. Imagine their surprise when they find out televisions are flat with infinite numbers of accessible stations featuring shows about the valuable antiques they use in daily life like wringer washers and Victrolas. Ebay will be flooded faster than California during this year's predicted Godzilla El Nino.
It won't take long before money starts to change hands as Americans bid on these charming items, in particular, the large stash of old cars still rolling down the picturesque avenues of Havana. Miami is all abuzz, as is Washington, where top-level politicos eagerly await the arrival of the first shipload of 1950s era Chevys. Classic car buffs are preparing for the influx.
"We can't wait to get our hands on them," said the owner of Metro Retro Body Shop in Ferndale, MI. "We've exhausted our own inventory and want to start on theirs. When my 'tuck and roll' specialist heard, he about cried. Woodward Avenue cruising fans will go wild!"
Tourism may prove to be the most popular aspect of renewed relations. Travel to and from Cuba could bring added stops for land, sea and air. Travel agents in Little Havana, a culture-rich community in Miami, are already lining up flights for technically deported Cubans still residing in the United States who seek asylum in other Latin American countries.
Not all are happy about the union between the north and our southern island neighbor. Raising the Cuban flag over US soil angered those still reeling from the removal of the Confederate flag. A Fox News man-on-the-street interview with a South Carolina tobacco farmer prompted this response, "Go figure--we have to take down our flag because they say it's racist and then they raise the Cuban flag. It may be red, white, and blue, but it's communist! First it was the rainbow flag--now this! If you ask me, those crazy Democrats watch too many cat videos." At the raising of the flag on Cuban soil, Secretary of State John Kerry will make an historic exchange of hot sauce for Heinz ketchup symbolizing both the soothing of fiery relations and continued heartburn at Gitmo.
Differences in opinion make it impossible to please everyone, and not everyone will directly experience all the charm Cuba has to offer. The cold war is over, but the squabbling never ends.
(Article changed on August 13, 2015 at 20:36)