The world's laziest journalist approached Super Bowl XLV with great trepidation not just because the Super Bowls haven't been as good since the days when Broadway Joe pulled a magnificent upset, but also because of a great sense of shame because the American Journalism community, which would flock to cover an earthquake in Indonesia and would send as many reporters to New Orleans as there were soldiers on the Normandy Beaches, doesn't seem capable of running a blurb about the recent monsoon disaster in Australia.
Suppose the Australians have a Spartan's pride and need help but can't bring themselves to ask for a helping hand? Shouldn't American Journalism be covering the devastation story as well as they are attempting to cover the crisis in Egypt?
The United States should be asking "What can we do to help?" Let's not wait to be asked. America's strongest ally shouldn't have to ask for help. It should be being offered right now.
Australia loved Oprah. Isn't she retired or retiring? Couldn't she make an attempt to be the catalyst for an instant benefit concert and thereby show some love in return?
Do you think that if Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, and Mel "Mr. Road Warrior" Gibson (Maybe we should put Hugh Jackman's or Cate Blanchett's name in here, rather than reference the bad boy out in the "bu?) asked some musicians to perform one song, they'd get some positive responses? Isn't Australia a farm club for Hollywood? (Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know that Crowe was born in kiwi land. His apartment is in the Wilamaloo section of Sydney [rather close to Harry's on Wheels hot dog stand] and his production company office is [?] in Santa Monica.)
Do you know what the official name of Australia's Border Patrol is? It's called The Coast Guard and they use boats not horses and SUV's. Dude, is there any country in the world with more beaches? If he were alive wouldn't Patrick Swayze, who played Bodie - the ultimate surfer - in the movie "Point Break," (Where is Bell's Beach?) lend his name to an Aussie Aid Benefit Concert?
After British Prime Minister Winston Churchill offended Australians, during WWII, by insisting that they send Australian troops to defend the Suez Canal (the British Navy needed the oil that traveled through that strategic bit of geography), Americans won a considerable amount of gratitude when they won the battles of the Coral Sea and Midway and saved Australia from a planned Japanese Invasion.
The threat was so real that the Australian government officials worked on the details of a potential surrender negotiations. They were ready to sign a peace treaty that would have let the Japanese occupy most of the Northern half of the island continent.
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