Growing up, I thought I was the only one. The only one who was wearing a smile and feeling like she was somehow flawed. I'd compare myself to others as I walked into a room. And it wasn't good. Girls were prettier. Boys were smarter. Everyone was funnier. Or so I thought. I kept my secret close and compensated with loud music and recreational drugs.
In college, flawed feelings were still present. But I kept going. I attended counseling classes, and slowly but surely my innate interest in the study of human emotions led me out of my self-imposed hell. The more I observed everyone around me, the more I realized that I was not the only one with doubts. Not only was I not the only one who felt this feeling of "not enough," but EVERYONE I came into contact with seemed to be suffering from this disease. It was like an epidemic that we somehow accepted and permitted to be passed on to generation after generation. This, for me, was truly a cloud-parting OMFG moment!
At first, I was relieved. Then I was pissed. Is it true that we all suffer from this common limiting belief "I'm not enough" but we can't do anything about it? Anger inspired me to take action. I graduated with a counseling degree and spent years studying other modalities for personal healing and empowerment.
I began hosting Wellness Retreats and offering tools to help combat limiting beliefs. I helped people learn to be present, to recognize when they were telling themselves, "I am not enough." And, most importantly, together we learned how to shift to self-talk that's positive. We would examine old stories, dive deep, and return to the surface feeling lighter.
My clients loved it. They kept coming back. They reported their success stories of how they moved through the debilitating thoughts of feeling not enough to being able to pursue their dreams. This process of uncovering old stories and committing to self-love and positive self-talk inspired their souls. One reported she was getting married in a month, another client was starting her own business, and still another was getting off of antidepressants. The stories of success were flooding in.
My clients would tell me, "You have to put these tools in a book and share them with others!" Less stress, more joy in the simplest of things, less worrying about what others think, and more overall satisfaction in life these clients were feeling better. They were feeling enough. They were experiencing miracles and wanted to share their good news with others. And so did I.
I committed to finishing my book and creating space for miracles to happen in the form of "reminders." We all need reminders. Reminders that our best is enough, that we get to be perfectly imperfect, that it's important to take time for ourselves, and that we get to write our "new story" each day.
In chapter 2 of my book, ENOUGH ALREADY! Yes, You Are, I gave the critic and the encourager names: meet the common critic (Doubting Dotty/Danny) and the compassionate encourager (Believing Betty/Bobby).
The critic is so familiar and has been passed down for generations. The encourager, however, is now creating quite a name for herself. Believing Betty has become a star as people all over the world embrace her encouraging words: "You've got this. You have what you need within you." Listening to Believing Betty will give you the audacity to believe that you are, indeed, enough today even with all your perfect imperfections and unmet goals. {Happy dance here!}
The ripple effect of such a belief creates positive changes in every corner of our lives. And these changes will reach generations to come.
It's time! The "not enough" epidemic is coming to an end.
And thanks to all of you, the "Enough Already Movement" is happening! It is my mission to share it with audiences around the globe. The Movement is creating deeper breaths, more joy in the present moment, permission to be you today, and a lightness in your step that you've longed for.
Here are some more quick reminders:
SNL Stop, Notice, Love.
Stop. Notice your self-talk. Shift to Love/compassion. Speak to yourself like you would to your BFF!
And, a free gift for you The Backpack Exercise. It is my clients' favorite!
How do I create space between me and all the stressors? Space is your friend! I'll take your hand and walk you through it in a free recorded exercise: go here .
