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OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 9/27/09

Ten Good Reasons to switch from the Democratic and Republican parties to the Communist Party (Satire)

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For the average American reader I have decided to join the Communist party from being a Republican and I have ten valid reasons that I think will persuade you to also switch. So let's get started!

1. First and foremost I could wake up everyday without any surprises. I would no longer be under the delusion that I am free and master of my own destiny. I would not expect to hear the truth from the President I vote for, the representatives I vote for and so on. I would no longer believe that my vote counted or my opinion mattered. I know that my voice would never be heard under any circumstances or even considered, even if hundreds of millions agreed with me. I would know each and everyday that I am screwed and there would be no surprises. I would live under no delusions, false hopes or beliefs. How wonderful would that be!

2. Being in the Communist Party I would not worry about retirement or saving money and anyone stealing it because I would not be paid a fair wage for a fair days work. I would not have to work my whole life to better my family in the foolish belief that what little I could amass to leave for them would ultimately end up in the hands of others. Those in power would just steal it without so much as a whimper from the victims, anyone held accountable and the propaganda that 6 trillion in wealth simply vanished into thin air would keep the sheep grazing and be accepted as the truth. I would know that the house I live in can be taken at any time because a shopping mall must be built so that what little I have is spent at the "must have from the new mall advertising or I am a loser" so that I run up debt far and above what I will ever be able to payback in my lifetime.

3. Being in the Communist Party I would not believe that justice could be found in the judicial system. I would not think that right and wrong were the basis of the laws written by the people I elected and enforced by people I would not sit to dinner with. I would expect to have my views suppressed and only the propaganda of disinformation on every channel. I would be fully aware that no matter what the crime committed against me or a family member, unless the powers that be felt threatened, no justice would be had. I would never get angry, feel oppressed, expect fairness or even that I had any God given human rights because I would know that I only exist to serve those in power of which I am not one.

4. If the Communist Party won the Presidential election the Constitution and Bill of Rights would just become just another piece of paper with no value whatsoever. Being that the new party would rewrite the history books to say that the Founding Fathers were terrorists who through terrorist tactics defeated the British, I would never know freedom. I would not have to worry about any rights or get upset because my Government would be violating the law; I already know they will violate the law.

5. If the Communist Party won the general election I would never have to worry about religion, wars related to religion or the God I worshiped. Being that I would be told what is politically correct and what to believe and that it would be drummed into us in our education system the religious beliefs of the agenda seekers and those in power that they are the Gods of our lives. I would bow and genuflect to those in black robes, political office and anyone who with power demands that I bow and worship those graven idols. That one would be a hard one for me to do.

6. If Communists were in power I would not have to worry about what is in my best interest, the best interest of my family or the best interest of the children. I would know that the only interest is the interest those in power have in themselves and not me and my family.

7. If Communists had control of this nation, I would not have to worry about health care. I would work till I drop and my son would take over and work till he dropped and his son and so on. Even if the masses revolted and had the courage to speak up, those in power would just blame each other that no actual heath care plan could be agreed upon when the real agenda was that one half of the power wanted more power for the Communist party and the other half wanted more wealth for the Communist party. I would know this in advance and never be foolish enough to believe that any type of real health care plan would ever be mine or my families. Maybe I will be able to barter food for care.

8. If Communists had control of this nation, I would not have to work for over half the year to pay taxes to line others pockets. I would work the whole year to line others pockets, but at least I would know the truth up front.

9. By joining the Communist Party maybe I can gain a little power prior to the Communist Party taking over and if I am too late it is no big deal as there is only to gain and nothing to lose.

10. And finally, I would never have to wake with dreams, delusions or false hopes. I know that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are just words on an old piece of paper. That freedom, choice and God given rights are just delusions of bands of rebels in Philadelphia in 1776. I will not have to muster any courage to fight back as there I is no hope to change things as our founding fathers did. I will know that I will be oppressed and controlled with fear, both verbal and physical. I know that should I find the courage to stand and fight, the KGB will come to my door and I will be put into a prison off the coast of Florida and I will be labeled a terrorist, foreign or domestic.

As you can see these 10 reasons are valid reasons to switch. The piece of mind that giving up will give me makes it worth losing my freedoms, my voice and my vote. As we all know, America has always chickened out on a fight, even when the odds are heavily stacked against us. Why sit home waiting for the truth to be told, embrace the lies and join the Communist Party today and you could maybe get a piece of power too!


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Michael C. Morris has been involved in racing since the age of twelve (12) when he took a summer job working at Terry’s Speed Shop located in Phoenixville PA. With the help of his brother John Morris, they teamed up and joined Razzberry Racing. (more...)
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