Power of Story Send a Tweet        

Share on Google Plus Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit Share on StumbleUpon Tell A Friend 1 (1 Shares)  

Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites (# of views)   2 comments
OpEdNews Op Eds

Quoth the Pig Part 3. Fat as Hell and Not Taking It Anymore

By   Follow Me on Twitter     Message Allan Wayne       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink

Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; (more...) ; ; ; ; , Add Tags  (less...)  Add to My Group(s)

Funny 1  
View Ratings | Rate It


Author 21546
Become a Fan
  (8 fans)
- Advertisement -


“Drain the Swamps!” Mel screeched!” “Full throttle ahead!”

“Leaping lizards!” I said. “You’re a disgrace!” My portly pig rocked like a bucking bronco. “It’s supposed to be—‘Up your ass in alligators’--Not the other way around!”

“Well, ex-squeals me!” Mel rained wrath on the ravenous reptile. “What do I got to lose? Why don’t you just call me Typhoid Mary?”

- Advertisement -

“She’s a lady! You’re a pig!” I gasped. “That’s a gator!”

“You’re no different,” said Mel. “You know you’d like to.”

“I’m not like you,” I said, “I’m not a Republican.”

- Advertisement -

“Why me?” Mel blubbered. “Gators do worse things!”

“You’re a little impulsive. Steve Irwin was better looking.”

“I’m depressed,” Mel began to cry crocodile tears. “They’re going to fry me, aren’t they?”

“You can’t flaunt the laws of nature,” I could smell Mel’s sizzling bacon. “They’re saying this piggy plague is because of factory farms. Your dirty living conditions.”

“Factory?” Mel screeched. “I’ve never worked a day in my life!” He flayed his hooves. “Do these look like calluses to you? Why don’t you try New York City! That’s a pretty good HUMAN factory farm! Maybe YOU gave it to Us!”

“You’re changing the subject!” I said. “No swamp monster is out there infecting people! The evidence points to you, Mr. Piggy! You can’t flog yourself out of this one!”

- Advertisement -

“OH YEAH?” Mel sprang into the mangroves. “Watch me!”

“SWAMP THING!” Almost speechless, I watched Mel ravish the repulsive movie monster.

Next Page  1  |  2


- Advertisement -

Funny 1  
View Ratings | Rate It


Conceived on west coast,born on east coast,returned to northwest spawning grounds. Never far from water. Degree in biology, minor: socio/psychology. Nature-oriented. Building trades,marine carpentry, Army Veteran, ex-social worker, ex-tavern (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon Share Author on Social Media   Go To Commenting

The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Follow Me on Twitter

Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Desert Chic?--or Death in the Dunes? Obama Walks a Fine Line.

Tribal Girls on Pak-Afghan Border

OCCUPY D.C.1932. The Bonus Army. 17,000 Veterans. 26,000 Others. 500 Infantry. 4 dead, 1,017 injured. 69 Police Injured.

Hatching Charlie: A Psychotherapist's Tale

The Last Afghan: Dark Dog of Death

I Did Not Mean to Start the Revolution. Ice Cream, Peas, and the Collapse of Walmart.