Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 9 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 8/31/19

Questions to Ask Before "Calling Out"

By       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     (# of views)   1 comment

From Other Words

What's the most effective response when someone around you says something offensive?

Twitter
Twitter
(Image by YouTube, Channel: Francisco Saubidet)
  Details   DMCA

You're in a group and someone says something racist, sexist, homophobic, classist, transphobic, or otherwise problematic. What they said isn't OK. Now what do you do?

We often talk about "callout culture," in which the norm is to immediately correct the person on their mistake. Often such a callout leads to escalating emotions on both sides: anger, hurt, and ultimately, no learning by the offending party. Is that the answer?

For me, the question is: What do you want to accomplish, and will calling the person out accomplish it? And is there a more effective way to reach the same goal?

I usually try to assess a few things. First of all, is this person capable of learning or changing?

If a self-identified white nationalist is spewing hate, then there is probably nothing I can say to convince them otherwise. That's a lost cause.

Let's say they are capable of changing their mind. Then there's the second question: Can I help the person learn what they need to know without putting them on the defensive?

That means, if possible, speaking to them in a way that does not publicly humiliate them and does not feel like an attack. I might have the conversation in private and start my statement with words like, "Maybe you didn't know but..." or "I'm sure you meant no harm but..."

People make mistakes. We can allow one another to make mistakes as they grow. Helping the mistakes be less painful and humiliating can create room for that growth.

Third, is this a conversation I can engage in without harming myself?

Sometimes, the conversation would just be too painful. If a man is claiming that women lie about being raped, as a rape survivor, that's not a conversation I can have with him. It would hurt too much. That's a job for someone else.

Fourth, am I the person they are most likely to listen to? What do you do when someone says something offensive?

If the offending party is my student and they look to me to educate them, there's a good chance they will listen to me. If I'm just a stranger on the internet, the odds are much lower.

Next Page  1  |  2

 

Interesting 1   Valuable 1  
Rate It | View Ratings

Jill Richardson Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Jill Richardson is the proprietor of the blog La Vida Locavore. She writes on food policy issues and she is currently working on her first book, due out in 2009.

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Trump's Gender "Science" is Reductive, Mean and Wrong

This Popular Pro-Gun Argument Doesn't Make Any Sense

The Organic Food Industry Thrives On Regulation

A Genuinely Scary Moment in Foreign Policy

Is This How the World Sees America Now?

Questions to Ask Before "Calling Out"

Comments

The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.

This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.

1 people are discussing this page, with 1 comments


David Watts

Become a Fan
Author 10429

(Member since Jan 31, 2008), 13 fans, 19 articles, 26 quicklinks, 2230 comments, 27 diaries
Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in


Add this Page to Facebook! Submit to Twitter Share on LinkedIn Submit to Reddit


  New Content

Something I have done I think can be effective in many instances. I just say something like, "I don't appreciate that." Then, I leave it at that. I have not attacked the person. I have not raised their ire. All I have done is make the point that I don't agree with it and I don't appreciate it. It does not leave the other person anything to come back at me. But, the person will have gotten my point. Whether or not they will even think about it is not my concern

Submitted on Sunday, Sep 1, 2019 at 7:24:48 PM

Author 0
Add New Comment
Share Comment
Reply To This   Recommend  (0+)
Help
 

 
Want to post your own comment on this Article? Post Comment