Life manifests according to what we vibe with. If we want to transform our lives then we must first transform our being.
There I was a happy man. A successful businessman, a wonderful wife, 3 beautiful children, in good health, and 30 something.
Then one night as I was about to fall asleep. I envisioned something that really shook me to my core. My mind shifted to a place where I was standing on a brick bridge overlooking a city I had never seen in this present life. I was looking at the water with every intention of ending my misery and jumping. I kept thinking that the water would end my anguish. I realized how death must represent peace to tormented people contemplating suicide. I had an understanding that my business had gone terribly bad in that past life and that I had failed my clients. I had lost all of their money. I realized that I had been investing in the stocks and it seemed to me it was in London. It also seemed to me that this was in the 1870s.
That was it. I got up immediately out of bed and I was thinking that I must have fallen asleep. But it all seemed so real that I immediately told my wife. I could tell she was too tired to think much of it. Later the next day, I went to work and mentioned to a business associate that I had this terrible vision before falling asleep about living in a past life in London or somewhere and that I had killed myself because the stock market had crashed.
Well little did I know that this glimpse of what I believed was a past life came with a message that would only unfold over the next several years of my life.
There I was without a job, no savings, and a lot of responsibilities. So I determined that I would try to get back on my feet and I started an insurance agency with a partner that I formerly worked with (the one I told about the vision). The insurance company that I had previously worked for, one of the largest in the nation, decided that I shouldn't be in business because of the very contract that they had previously decided not to honor. After our office was vandalized, tires slashed, being tailed, phones tapped, nasty letters from my former employer, and numerous trips to attorneys. I found that there was no justice when it came to fighting large corporations.
After a couple of years, I eventually was able to move past the harassment of that large company. They were unwilling ultimately to sue me and my partner and we continued to build the business. But over several years, while building the business, I had amassed some big debt. For a few years I was living mainly on my credit cards. I began to become more and more depressed as bankruptcy loomed closer. Then I hit a wall. It seemed as if I couldn't go on and I actually considered whether I should end it all. But then that vision came to me and I realized that I had once made the wrong decision on that London bridge in the late 1800s. This time I had to go with life and continue to do my best--no matter what.
At some point our business began to be successful and both my partner and I were making a good living. I thought that I would finally move past the economic problems of the past and function as a worthwhile consumer. But life had other plans.
While getting ready to sleep, I had another vision. This time I was by a beautiful river leading into a bay. This time I was very happy and I felt like I was living a very important life. I noticed that the people were mostly a fishing people and that I must be on the Great Lakes somewhere. I definitely remember thinking that this was before the Europeans came. I also remember seeing a canoe and it seemed to me that it was a birch canoe. This had always been my favorite tree and now I saw how important this tree was to my people. It came to me in the vision that I was an important person in the tribe. I was considered the tribe's connection to the spirit world. I was some sort of medicine man and my life was devoted to the spiritual and to the welfare of my people. I also realized the great joy and love these people had for their children and that part of my responsibility was to help the children grow into adulthood. Then my vision shifted and I heard in my mind a great deal of weeping and crying. I was terribly sad as I looked down on what seemed to be the woman wailing because I had died. Then I realized that this was a life well lived and that I had done what needed to be done. To this day, when I think of those cries from centuries ago I get very upset and it brings tears to my eyes.
A few months after this vision, our insurance business had taken on some very bad claims. One day I said to my partner that if we do everything right for the next several months and straighten out the claims losses then we might be able to sell the business for quite a bit of money. My partner agreed and by some miracle we were able to bring the business to profitability and we found a buyer that was willing to pay. During this time, I decided that I would no longer choose a career based on money and instead I would try to do some good with my life. I took the money that I gained from the sale of our business and used it to live while getting a masters degree. I had determined that my drive for financial success had brought me too much misery and that it was time, at my age, to try to do something that could help others in their life. I settled in on being a counselor. Although I had no experience in education, I was able to get accepted to a good university. They also offered me an assistantship where I worked in grad school as a teacher to undergrads. Because I got paid a little and my schooling was free, I was able to get a license in school counseling and in mental health counseling.
These vision experiences, I believe, came to me because I had a previous belief in reincarnation and I was open to the experience. I also believe that after several years of meditation that I had allowed my mind to open to deep memories. But on a deeper level, I believe these visions of past lives were spiritual gifts given to me so that I could wade through a rough period in my life and ultimately choose to live a better life.
I have gained an understanding from these past life experiences that our lives our shaped by our being or consciousness. That life unfolds according to our being and that by our intent we can transform our being and ultimately our lives. We vibrate like musical notes and we attract other consciousness that vibrate, bringing about a certain sound, according to their own being. Together these vibrational sounds form what we experience as energy and matter.
This vibration of being is what manifests as karma, a music that we experience as life. We can change this Karmic vibration into something more beautiful by our deep desires or intent.