Answers by 2nd grade school children to these questions:
Why did God make moms?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is."¨
2. Mostly to clean the house."¨
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?"¨
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us."¨
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring."¨
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?"¨
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
"¨2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
1. We're related."¨
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
"¨2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy."¨
3. They say she used to be nice back then.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?"¨
1. His last name.
"¨2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?"¨
3. Does he get drunk on beer?"¨
4. Does he make at least $800 a year?
5. Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot"¨
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
"¨3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?"¨
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
"¨2. Mom, You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed."¨
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?"¨
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work."¨
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
"¨3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends."¨
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine
What does your mom do in her spare time?"¨
1. Mothers don't do spare time."¨
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
"¨1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery."¨
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
"¨1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean."¨I'd get rid of that.
"¨2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me."¨
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.