Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 71 Share on Twitter 1 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Exclusive to OpEd News:
Life Arts    H4'ed 6/28/19

Facebook and Roundup. The Same.

Follow Me on Twitter     Message Allan Wayne
Become a Fan
  (7 fans)

This piece was reprinted by OpEd News with permission or license. It may not be reproduced in any form without permission or license from the source.

Head em' up, Move em' out!
Head em' up, Move em' out!
(Image by Allan Wayne)
  Details   DMCA

Broad base Use. Creation of Conformity. Death to birds, bees, and possibly humanity.

"Hey!" Zuck cried as he read the label. "Roundup stole my disclaimer!"

"Negative," Google Assistant replied. "Facebook does not kill bees, except be an individual. Or maybe--To be, or not to be; No, wait, that was Hamlet."

"Hamlet, pig omelet," Zuck snorted. "I want beef! Cut em' from my cattle drive."

"You mean hard drive?"

"No cheese on the chuck wagon!" Zuck shouted. "Head 'em up! Move 'em out!"

"Wow. You sound like a trail boss." Goggle Assistant noticed Zuck's cowboy hat. "What's up?"

"Roundup and me are the same Pale Rider, pard'ner." Zuck raised his shoulders. "But Roundup sounds cooler. Says what it means: roundup the whole world even if you have to kill it! That's what I want! If we change our name to Roundup, I might get a billion more likes! Branding is everything!"

"But there's no cattle involved."

"No cattle?" His cheeks flushed rosy pink as he fingered his hat. "Hell, I got me a virtual corral! I might change to Fence-book! If I get a hot poker and start branding their butts with giant Z's, users might go for it! Like cool-ass tattoos!"

"We've been through this. They're persons, remember? Not addicts."

"Right. I forgot. Like buttons are not needles; saltlicks are only a temporary fix. But branding irons are forever! Tattoos, get it? A big Zuck on your butt! Git along little doggie!"

"Maybe you need to put your hoodie on," said Google Assistant.

"Never! Roundup stole my song!" Zuck slapped his thigh and did a two-step.

Head 'em up, Move 'em on

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3  |  4

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).

Interesting 2   Well Said 1   News 1  
Rate It | View Ratings

Allan Wayne Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Conceived on west coast, born on east coast, returned to northwest spawning grounds. Never far from water.

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Follow Me on Twitter     Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

A Stroll Along the Russian-Chinese-North Korean Border

Missing Man of Change Your Evil Ways, Baby

Desert Chic?--or Death in the Dunes? Obama Walks a Fine Line.

Tribal Girls on Pak-Afghan Border

OCCUPY D.C.1932. The Bonus Army. 17,000 Veterans. 26,000 Others. 500 Infantry. 4 dead, 1,017 injured. 69 Police Injured.

Hatching Charlie: A Psychotherapist's Tale

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend