(A Parody of the Mafia Defense)
Donald Trump Jr.'s account of his Russian contacts is reminiscent of classic parodies of Mafia criminal defenses.
His client accused of murder, the Mafia lawyer explains: "My client was standing innocently on a street corner in Brooklyn eating an apple----with an ice pick----when this jerk comes running around the corner and runs into the ice pick----four times----backwards."
Mafia lawyer: My client couldn't have committed the murder. He wasn't even there.
District Attorney: We have five witnesses who saw him there.
Mafia Lawyer: If he was there he was an innocent bystander.
District Attorney: The witnesses saw him pointing a gun and pulling the trigger.
Mafia Lawyer: If he did shoot him it was in self-defense.
Donald Trump Jr. and Russia:
Trump Jr.: I didn't meet with the Russians.
Interviewer: But we have witnesses who saw you in a room with Russian operatives.
Trump Jr.: If I was in a room with them it was coincidental, but I had nothing to do with them.
Interviewer: The witnesses say they saw you talking to the Russians.
Trump Jr.: If I was talking to them I was just being courteous and cordial.