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Clean Up After Your Dog

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opednews.com Headlined to H4 8/13/16

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As the Bishop said to the actress when he tried to gently lift her dress""my dear darling, this is for your own good!" WTF?! Guess I was dreaming when Donald Trump just upped and intervened. This is yuuuge! I got to thinking about his mentally and intellectually challenged, spokesgoblin Katrina Pierson, whose social gymnastics would put Simone Biles to shame and who delights in telling "tall tales" -- like her boss -- about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Man, has that chick got issues! She has a very long history of having an adversarial relationship with the truth! You know she's traumatized from that little, teeny shoplifting incident in her checkered past! See we must understand; she's badly damaged goods!

So her boss whose statements and buccal cavity gushings are on par with that sanitary orifice from which raw sewage spews and gushes out goes on television and tells the most outrageous of bedtime stories, leaving the presumed prima donna to clean up after him. Yes, yes it's the law: clan up after your doggie. Well, we all know that the ferret-headed one is a bit of a maverick, right? I mean, his remoteness from Planet Truth is as far as earth is from Mars. But who the heck cares? It makes for good TV, right? And the bonus is that he can't be called to account for your f***ing BS because you're a billionaire whose intellect is akin to that of a sea slug.

Yeah, yeah we know. He does not follow the "normal" rules of behavior or conventional wisdom -- political or otherwise. My dear cockroach"when you reject the very idea of buying presidential campaign TV ads but opt for obliquely calling for the assassination of your opponent, or for that matter your inability to see the wisdom of setting up campaign offices in swing states, then, my dear invertebrate, you are very, very daft. As daft as the proverbial mud hen.

We know Trump don't prepare for debates and after he craps all over the TV in full view of a dumbfounded America, its Katrina to the rescue! Only she makes him look even more clueless and unhinged by going on her little liefests and trying to fit the part of Trump's female "mini me." But for all of the dog doo-doo that she has to clean up and TV viewers have to grind their teeth and suck up I have to admit that I was thrown for a loop by Trump's lack of very basic political campaign issues.

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Appearing on Fox 5, that bastion of Republican skullduggery, on "The O'Reilly Factor" Trump imparted to viewers his imperial wisdom that "getting out the vote" is not a big deal and looked vague when asked about this key political campaign task. He told guest host Eric Bolling that one (1) he was not worried about the fact that the Republican Party was running away from him and two (2) that he could care less about the resources that the RNC would bring to his campaign.

And now, in answer to the question as to if he, the Great One, was just a teeny bit worried about getting people out to vote for him, he imparted these Pearls of Wisdom-- in his own words!

"I don't know. I will let you know on the ninth, on November ninth, meaning the eighth is your election and the ninth is when we find out"I think we're gonna have tremendous voter turnout."

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What?! YOU DON'T KNOW! You will let people know ON THE DAY AFTER THE ELECTION! That's your strategy -- not knowing is knowing that you do not know! God help us! Yes, we are going to have tremendous voter turnout, just not for you Donald the Dumb! Voters just don't "come out" because you somehow believe that willing them to is going to translate to getting out the vote. I've just re-read -- for the 5th time actually -- Miguel Cervantes's "Don Quixote" and he's far saner than you at this moment, if we can get past the fact that he attacked a set of windmills because he believed them to be giants!

Ah, I wallow in the domain of the certifiable. I seek solace and shelter in the illogic of the insane and "touched." I find and take refuge in Lewis Carroll's timeless wisdom:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

Mr. Trump continued and offered this clarification on how to "get out the vote," much to the amazement of guest host of "The O'Reiley Factor":

"You'll see what happens. I don't know that we need to get out the vote. I think people that really want to vote, they're gonna just get up and they're going to get out and they're going to vote for Trump and we're going to make America great again."

Okay, okay Donald. NP. Pack up and go on that long vacation and you have fun, hear? The people just loooove you. So no worries. Remember you could shoot someone in broad daylight in the middle of 5th Avenue in New York and not lose votes! If you believe that then may I offer you some "green eggs and ham?" Man, I want to see just how your spokesgoblin, dear, dear Katrina of the Forked Tongue explains this gem of wisdom. Aha! I got it! Obama made you say it! Hillary hoodwinked you into believing that political campaigns are run by a process of human osmosis! Drat! This is tremendous!

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Ye Gads! I need to find an explanation for all of this. So I'm reaching out to dear Lewis Carroll AGAIN.

"The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night."

What a campaign! Where up is down and down is up -- even in the middle of the night!

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MICHAEL DERK ROBERTS Small Business Consultant, Editor, and Social Media & Communications Expert, New York Over the past 20 years I've been a top SMALL BUSINESS CONSULTANT and POLITICAL CAMPAIGN STRATEGIST in Brooklyn, New York, running (more...)
 

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