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OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 9/19/19

CIA Back to 'Three Stooges' type antics?

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The purpose of the vial was to throw it on the front doorsteps of foreign Communist Party officials so that they would be kept awake all night by barking dogs
The purpose of the vial was to throw it on the front doorsteps of foreign Communist Party officials so that they would be kept awake all night by barking dogs
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The Central Intelligence Agency, founded largely by a bunch of self-entitled graduates of America's Ivy League universities and alum of secretive fraternities particularly Yale and the Skulls and Bones appears to be re-indulging in some of its worst antics of the Cold War years. Many CIA plank owners joined the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) during World War II, a convenient way for them to avoid combat and killing Nazis, for whom they had some ideological sympathies.

One of the most notorious CIA dirty tricksters was Duane "Dewey" Clarridge, a graduate of Brown and Columbia. Clarridge was one of the brains behind the establishment of the stay-behind Gladio network in Western Europe, but his involvement in the Iran-contra scandal may have only been on the peripheral sidelines. One of the hijinks for which Clarridge offered a half-hearted admission was the "October Surprise" that sealed President Jimmy Carter's fate with a 1980 Ronald Reagan campaign agreement with Iran, known as the "no hostages for arms deal." With U.S. embassy hostages continuing to be held in Tehran, Carter suffered a humiliating landslide loss to Reagan.

Other CIA dirty trick operations included exploding cigars and painted seashells designed to kill Cuban leader Fidel Castro, a sonic wave gun causing unexpected bowel movements to the everlasting embarrassment of foreign leadership targets attending public events, small glass ampules full of pure LSD for sprinkling in an unsuspecting victim's food or drink, and poisonous radiator fluid that caused instant death for vehicle drivers and passengers.

Prior to his death in 2016, Clarridge signed on to the Ben Carson campaign as a national security adviser. However, as The New York Times reported, it did not take long for Clarridge to ascertain that Carson was unable to grasp a single iota of foreign or national security affairs. After the Times's revelation, Carson denied that Clarridge was his adviser.

To Clarridge's delight, the CIA's Office of Technical Services (OTS) developed "odor bombs." One such bomb was called "Dog in Heat," a vial containing a chemical matching the essence of a female dog in heat. The purpose of the vial was to throw it on the front doorsteps of foreign Communist Party officials so that they would be kept awake all night by barking dogs.

Another odor bomb was called the "Who Me?" device. An ampule containing the sulfurous odor of rancid flatulence was clandestinely released at Communist Party of India meetings, particularly in Kerala and West Bengal, where the party gained control of the state governments, and Madras. When one "Who Me?" device was accidentally released inside the U.S. embassy in New Delhi, the entire building had to be evacuated with the CIA station chief insisting the odor was emanating from Delhi's well-known "nallahs," or sewage gutters.

An incident that recently took place at a regional assembly in northwestern Kenya could be an indication that the CIA under Donald Trump and "yes woman" Gina Haspel - is, once again, up to its old schoolboy antics. The regional assembly of Homa Bay, a county on the shores of Lake Victoria, recently experienced an incident similar to those visited upon Communist Party meetings in India decades earlier. The governor of Homa Bay is Cyprian Awiti, a member of the Luo tribe-dominated opposition party, the Orange Democratic Movement, and the multiparty opposition Coalition for Reforms and Democracy. The opposition coalition is led by Raila Odinga, a distant relative of Barack Obama, a distinction which has earned Odinga and the opposition the enmity of Trump acolytes who have bored into the upper echelons of the CIA.

During a recent debate in the Homa Bay Assembly, Speaker Edwin Kakach was forced to suspend deliberations when Assemblyman Julius Gaya stated from the floor: "Honorable Speaker, one of us has polluted the air and I know who it is." The accused member replied, "I am not the one. I cannot do such a thing in front of my colleagues." Kakach called for a recess and ordered assembly staff to obtain air fresheners to clear the air and "make it pleasant," adding, "get whatever flavor you will find in any office, whether it's vanilla or strawberry . . . We cannot continue sitting in an environment that smells bad." Although staff could not locate any sprays, the air cleared and Kakach resumed the session.

It is not known whether the CIA, after decades of keeping "Who Me?" on the shelf, field tested the bomb in recent years in southern Africa. The U.S. government continues to maintain a technical standard for the production of "U.S. Government Standard Bathroom Malodor," a precise mixture of eight chemicals designed to match the strongest odor from human feces. The standard is officially used to test the strength of commercial air fresheners.

In 2011, relations between Malawi President Bingu wa Mutharika and the United Kingdom and United States took a nose dive over Muthalika's human rights abuses and his warming ties with China. It was peculiar that also in 2011, Malawi Justice Minister George Chaponda caused a major stink when he tabled a bill that would have criminalized flatulence to promote "public decency." The bill stated: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighborhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanor." Solicitor General Anthony Kamanga explained that the law only pertained to air pollution emanating from a non-human source and nothing more. Kamanga stated, "How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalizing farting in public is beyond me."

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