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BTK Killer rebrands, demands immediate release

By       Message Jeff Leon       (Page 1 of 1 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   No comments

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Attorneys for convicted BTK Killer mass murderer Dennis Rader said Rader has rebranded to "Wxxkpfg" and demanded Wxxkpfg be released from prison immediately.

Wxxkpfg's’s attoney issued a statement saying, "Wxxkpfg didn’t do any of the BTK mass murders. The court record proves it."

The statement read, "Blackwater International wound up in a minor kerfuffle over a few machine-gun mass murders in Iraq. So what? Blackwater just rebranded themself to Xe. Xe is innocent because the Xe brand isn’t on any machine-gun mass murders in Iraq. Wxxkpfg is innocent too, because his brand isn't on that Rader guy's BTK killings."

Wxxkpfg’s attorney said, "Then there’s tobacco-pusher Philip Morris. Philip Morris has long since rebranded. They’re Altria now. The Altria brand was never on any money-grubbing emphysema-and-lung cancer company. Altria is innocent too!"

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Wxxkpfg’s attorney claimed rebranding applies to individuals as well as to corporations, and that if Xe and Altria can’t help what Blackwater and Philip Morris did, then Wxxkpfg can’t help what Dennis Rader did.

Wxxkpfkg’s attorney concluded, "Look in the court record. Nobody named Wxxkpfg had anything to do with those mass murders. My client is innocent and should be released."

Elsewhere, the Ku Klux Klan announced they have rebranded themselves to "A Bunch Of Fun-Loving Southern Guys Who Hold Campfire Pep Rallies After Dark."

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I'm an old-school liberal turned cynic, but there's still stuff that's funny.

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BTK Killer rebrands, demands immediate release