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OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 6/27/14

Adventures in Job Hunting

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less you have been hiding in a nuclear bunker or sailing your yacht in the Mediterranean, you already know the US job market is dismal. Millions of unemployed and underemployed Americans of all ages, struggle seeking work in this new job environment. Because it's not just the quantity of jobs available that's changed, it's the very nature of employment itself. Even the jargon and vernacular of employment has changed.

Take for instance, "Entry-Level" time was, entry-level might mean a fresh-faced young person. An entry-level job meant answering the phone, shipping and receiving or miscellaneous tasks. They were "entering" the company, learning its functions with the aim of becoming a vital part of it. Entry-level implied movement; you came in here and come out somewhere else. I knew a man who landed a job at seventeen, sweeping up metal shavings on a factory floor. Thirty-five years later, he retired as the companies Vice President and executive sales manager.

In today's Orwellian job market; "Entry-Level" means whatever the employer wants it to mean. Entry-level neurogeneticist needed! Obviously, if you've earned a Master's Degree or a PhD, you can't conceivably be considered for an "Entry-Level" position and that's just the point. What once meant, any warm body willing to learn and do the job, has become the first hurdle for the over-qualified. The employer doesn't care that your unemployment ran out two weeks ago or that you're looking eyeball to eyeball at destitution. "A PhD. in the shipping department? I don't know."

Entrepreneurial = A Ralph Cramden scheme where you don't get paid or you get paid commission only, when the product takes off. We've developed a great new app for your smart phone and we're looking for marketing reps with an entrepreneurial spirit! So if you earn $ 5.00 per sale, you'd need 60 sales to earn $300. Hypothetically, if you placed an Internet Ad with a 1% conversation rate you would need 600 views for each sale. But to place that ad on the Internet would cost you more than $300 whether the app sells or not. So the companies "entrepreneurial" strategy is to hire 10 or 20 thousand sales reps each making one or two sales.

Equity = again, you don't get paid or you get paid in Monopoly money. We're a well-funded start-up. You now own 10,000 shares of Fingerupmynosedotcom and if we all work very, very hard, we could be as big as the Huffington Post someday. Mark Twain called it, "getting drunk on the smell of somebody else's cork."

A job application is now a "Career Opportunity Packet." Page one: Applicant/Employee Disclosure and Authorization under the Fair Credit Reporting Act. Now understand this isn't just a nosey intrusion into your private life, Nah.

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I who am I? Born at the pinnacle of American prosperity to parents raised during the last great depression. I was the youngest child of the youngest children born almost between the generations and that in fact clouds and obscures who it is that (more...)

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