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Lying Under Oath for Dummies

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Stephen Pizzo
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A variant on this gambit is the “I can't answer that because it involves a matter that part of a pending investigation,” technique. This can be used by those of you involved some way in law enforcement or law enforcement agencies.

There are two “pending investigation” dodges.

1) “I can't discuss anything that's currently under investigation.'
2) “That's a part of a matter from which I am recused.

Those of you working in law enforcement, including the Dept of Justice, are in a prime position to employ this technique to your benefit.  If you have prior knowledge that someone is fixing to put you under oath about something you'd prefer not being asked under oath, simply open an internal “investigation” into the matter. If that isn't enough, recuse yourself from that investigation too. Now you've erected two firewalls between having to decide whether to tell the truth and go jail, or commit perjury and go to jail.

 
4)Taking the Fifth
This is your last-resort gambit. When someone refuses to answer, “because it may incriminate me,” it's a surefire way to appear guilty as sin. So, use this gambit only when techniques 1 through 3 are unavailable to you.

Such circumstances may include:

  • When hard evidence has already been presented that proves you did it. 
  • When your co-conspirators up the chain of command warn you that any reduced punishment you might negotiate in return for your testimony against them, will pale in comparison to what they'll do to you when they they get their hands on you.
  • When your co-conspirators up the chain of command can credibly assure you that you'll be “taken care of” in return for your silence.


One final rule of thumb  to keep in mind. The old saying, “The truth shall set you free,” is misleading as it ONLY applies when the “particulars” of your case allow it.

Sometimes the truth will NOT set you free, quite the opposite. In such circumstances you need to avoid telling the truth as though your freedom depends on it... which it likely does.

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Stephen Pizzo has been published everywhere from The New York Times to Mother Jones magazine. His book, Inside Job: The Looting of America's Savings and Loans, was nominated for a Pulitzer.

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