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It's amazing what decades of sh*t can do

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Poor Israel. Their troops were only defending themselves, you know. Against dangerous people (terrorist sympathizers!; cue theme to "The Hate Boat") with clubs and sticks who, amazingly, took offense at being assaulted by armed troops dropping from helicopters in the middle of the night.

I know what you're thinking: "Armed? But the Israelis were only carrying paint guns!" And how do we know this? Because Israel says so. Hear what one brave wounded IDF goon, sorry, soldier, tells ABC News:

"I was armed with a paint gun and had no other weapons. It was a civilian paintball gun that any 12-year-old can play with. We didn't come for war, we just came to tell please stop, move the vessel back."

I believe him. Don't you? Because (repeat after me): Israelis good, Palestinians bad. And, being the good guys, Israelis would never lie.

Except constantly.

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Mark Drolette is a writer who lives in Sacramento, California.
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