When I teach first responders and military personnel Verbal First Aid " , one of the first things we get into is the need for them to be truly comfortable in and clear about their authority. Taking control of a chaotic situation requires authority. No one is going to follow someone who's confused, insecure, and uncommitted to a course of action, no matter how nice they are. This is true whether we need to follow someone literally (as in leaving a burning or crumbling building) or whether we need to take a suggestion to help us heal (e.g., when we are told to lower our blood pressure or stop the bleeding).
People "particularly parents "confuse true authority with meanness of spirit. They are not the same thing. In fact, a parent who has no authority, who cedes his position to his child has done that child a great disservice.
Authority is benevolent even though it demands respect. It is loving even though it will not accept bad behavior. It is structured, which is not the same as strict and certainly does not mean fearsome.
Authority is absolutely necessary if a child is going to feel protected and grow up with any frustration tolerance whatsoever.
What we saw in the frenzy for the chicken tenders and the utter lack of respect for either the parent's role or the effort it takes to be one is the result of years of children taking the reins. This is a form of feral socialization, a Lord of the Flies in which children dictate the market, the mores, and the response of the parents instead of the other way around.
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