* FOLLOW THE NUMBERS: As if the gods weren’t angry enough (perhaps at Robertson for backing the pro-gay rights Giuliani?), Republicans will have to defend twice the number of Senate seats up for election next year as will Democrats. That may seem like sheer coincidence, but there is actually a perverse irony here. This is the fruit of the GOP’s pyrrhic victory in 2002, when they used the Iraq war vote and general security hysteria to pummel hapless Tom Daschle-like Democrats. Now those very seats are up again, only this time the chicken has since come home to roost, and it’s an angry little fowl. That’s some awfully nasty karma to be carrying on your ledger, man. You might call Election 2008 the Revenge of Max Cleland.
* FOLLOW THE CONVERSIONS: Just as might be expected, Republicans are starting to change their party affiliations, even in places like Missouri and Kansas (really!). And, just as also might be expected, you’re hearing the classic (and true) explanation for their move: "I didn’t leave the Republican Party, the Republican Party left me". Sorry Ronnie Raygun, but what comes around... Watch for a whole lot more of this, especially after November 2008.
* FOLLOW THE FOOD CHAIN: They’re eating their young now. Predictable, to be sure, but still so much fun to watch. Did you hear that five conservative authors – including one of the Swift Boat hatchet-men, no less – are now suing their publishing house, Regnery (did they actually mean to call it ‘Degeneracy’ but it just got by the spell-checkers somehow?), and its parent company, Eagle Publishing? It seems they’re a little upset that Eagle "orchestrates and participates in a fraudulent, deceptively concealed and self-dealing scheme to divert book sales away from retail outlets and to wholly owned subsidiary organizations within the Eagle conglomerate", and thus rip the authors off of royalties owed to them. No kidding – really? I’m sorry, guys, but just who exactly did you think you were dealing with here? Look in the mirror! You cut a deal with a conservative press to publish your fraud, deception and self-dealing and you expected them to treat you better than George Bush did when he gave the gift of freedom and democracy to the Iraqis? And what’s up with your wanting fair treatment and fair pay for your labor? You guys are starting to sound like a bunch of whiney socialists, fer crissakes! And tort-reform-needing litigious ones, at that! This is America, Dudes. Your America. Get used to being scammed by people who are richer than you.
* FOLLOW THE FALLOW: The right’s agenda is not only bankrupt of real policy ideas, but nowadays it’s even bankrupt of effective red-herrings as well. Yesterday’s tried-and-true tropes no longer have that old magic anymore. "Terrorism, terrorism, terrorism. Gays, gays, gays." Yawn, yawn, yawn. "Honey, have you seen the remote? I really need to change the channel. And what time are we supposed to pick up Johnny from Little League practice?" Ho. Hum. This show is over. Regressives would like to thank everyone in the audience for their participation. Unfortunately, neither your wallets nor your articles of clothing are available for return to you at this time...
If the signs of the looming conservative apocalypse get any clearer, even blind cave fish will be reading them. These guys are getting ready to crumble like a poppy seed muffin six days past its sell-by date.
It certainly couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch, could it?
I hope they get every little thing that is coming to them.
Except, of course, their Regnery royalties.
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