THE GROPINATOR
Worked like a charm, Karl. The visual images changed from rotting dead bodies to U.S. soldiers distributing supplies. The talk shifted from Bush and FEMA to frothing Democrats playing the Blame Game. Didn't matter if it wasn't true or only half true (with us owning the other half of the responsibility); the idea was to get the Prez off the hot seat by pounding our version of events a hundred times a day. As Rush reminds us, you keep doing that long enough, hard enough, and sooner or later it becomes the truth. I'm still governor, aren't I? It works, Karl, just like you taught me.
TURD BLOSSOM
Need I remind you guys that your approval numbers are way low? Were it not for our tech-savvy friends out there, we couldn't win an election for dogcatcher right now, and neither could you, Arnold. Somewhere between election day 2004 and now, the public seems to have figured out something. Our job is to make them forget the facts, and alter those negative feelings and images; we need to frighten the hell out of them, make them dependent on us as the authority figures who can make them feel better, and regain our old momentum. If it takes cracking some heads, or rounding up critical types for 're-education' in summer camps, we'll do it.
UNCLE DICK
Hey, your mention of "camps" just reminded me that you three guys have something interesting in common. You all had relatives with ties to the Third Reich. Karl, your grandfather, a high-up Party man, helped plan the Birkenau death camp; your father, Arnold, volunteered for the Nazi S.A. in Austria and worked his way fairly high up in the officer corps; and your industrialist great-grandfather, Mr. President, helped finance the Nazi Party from here in America, and your grandfather carried on the tradition -- actually, to the point where the U.S. government shut down his German money-laundering operation in 1942. I'm really impressed with how you guys managed to spin your way out of all that.
(Long silence)
TURD BLOSSOM
Those Nazis were cruel, inhuman butchers.
THE GROPINATOR
Yes, they were.
THE PREZ
Yep.
TURD BLOSSOM
Still, despite all that, they were masters of societal manipulation, propaganda and knew how to cleverly destroy their opponents politically. I've done my research and my reading, and have found much that is useful for my work. We got rid of the cruelty and anti-Semitism (well, not quite: Arabs are Semites), and kept what was useful from their effective methods. Madison Avenue has worked that side of the street for years, why not us?
UNCLE DICK
Worked like a charm, Karl. The visual images changed from rotting dead bodies to U.S. soldiers distributing supplies. The talk shifted from Bush and FEMA to frothing Democrats playing the Blame Game. Didn't matter if it wasn't true or only half true (with us owning the other half of the responsibility); the idea was to get the Prez off the hot seat by pounding our version of events a hundred times a day. As Rush reminds us, you keep doing that long enough, hard enough, and sooner or later it becomes the truth. I'm still governor, aren't I? It works, Karl, just like you taught me.
TURD BLOSSOM
Need I remind you guys that your approval numbers are way low? Were it not for our tech-savvy friends out there, we couldn't win an election for dogcatcher right now, and neither could you, Arnold. Somewhere between election day 2004 and now, the public seems to have figured out something. Our job is to make them forget the facts, and alter those negative feelings and images; we need to frighten the hell out of them, make them dependent on us as the authority figures who can make them feel better, and regain our old momentum. If it takes cracking some heads, or rounding up critical types for 're-education' in summer camps, we'll do it.
Hey, your mention of "camps" just reminded me that you three guys have something interesting in common. You all had relatives with ties to the Third Reich. Karl, your grandfather, a high-up Party man, helped plan the Birkenau death camp; your father, Arnold, volunteered for the Nazi S.A. in Austria and worked his way fairly high up in the officer corps; and your industrialist great-grandfather, Mr. President, helped finance the Nazi Party from here in America, and your grandfather carried on the tradition -- actually, to the point where the U.S. government shut down his German money-laundering operation in 1942. I'm really impressed with how you guys managed to spin your way out of all that.
(Long silence)
TURD BLOSSOM
Those Nazis were cruel, inhuman butchers.
THE GROPINATOR
Yes, they were.
THE PREZ
Yep.
TURD BLOSSOM
Still, despite all that, they were masters of societal manipulation, propaganda and knew how to cleverly destroy their opponents politically. I've done my research and my reading, and have found much that is useful for my work. We got rid of the cruelty and anti-Semitism (well, not quite: Arabs are Semites), and kept what was useful from their effective methods. Madison Avenue has worked that side of the street for years, why not us?
UNCLE DICK
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
