Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 14 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 12/9/12

What Happens if There's a Fiscal Cliff?: "Human Sacrifice, Dogs and Cats Living Together ... Mass Hysteria!"

By       (Page 2 of 2 pages) Become a premium member to see this article and all articles as one long page.   7 comments
Become a Premium Member Would you like to know how many people have read this article? Or how reputable the author is? Simply sign up for a Advocate premium membership and you'll automatically see this data on every article. Plus a lot more, too.
Author 75017
Message Chris Lamb

-- The National Anthem will change from the "Star-Spangled Banner" to "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight."

-- Hours will have 61 - minutes.

-- All prime-time television programs will be required to include at least one appearance by a member of the Kardashian family.

-- Cell phones will only work in South Dakota.

-- Supreme Court justices will exchange their traditional robes for hoodies, low-rider jeans, tank tops, and doo rags and write their decisions in rap.

-- The letter "e" will be removed from the alphabt.

-- You will only be able to buy shoes for left feet and socks for right feet.

-- Olivia Newton-John will marry former major league pitcher Tommy John, divorce him, marry singer Wayne Newton, divorce him and then marry chef Jamie Oliver. She will become Olivia Newton-John-John-Newton-Oliver.

-- Texting will end, forcing millions of Americans to talk to each other.

-- Texas and Arizona will be returned to Mexico, which will then pass repressive anti-immigrant legislation.

-- "Human Sacrifice, Dogs and Cats Living Together . . . Mass Hysteria."


Chris Lamb is a professor of journalism at the College of Charleston in Charleston, SC. His last book was The Sound and Fury of Sarah Palin (Frontline Press).

Next Page  1  |  2

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).


Funny 3   Must Read 2   Well Said 1  
Rate It | View Ratings

Chris Lamb Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Chris Lamb is a professor of Communication at the College of Charleston, in Charleston, SC, he teaches courses in journalism and media studies. He has written hundreds of newspaper columns that have appeared in the Washington Post, Los Angeles (more...)
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

What Happens if There's a Fiscal Cliff?: "Human Sacrifice, Dogs and Cats Living Together ... Mass Hysteria!"

Who Needs a Democracy When You Have iVotronic Voting Machines?

The Boston Red Sox, Jackie Robinson, and a Legacy of Racism

Never Go Naked to Knife Fight in South Carolina

Truth Be Damned: Palin Revives 'Death Panels' Claim

When Do You Know If a Stranger Might Be a Pedophile?

To View Comments or Join the Conversation: