So in effect, as an extension to the feel good days of nursery and grammar school, college freshman need not skip a beat, continuing to be “happy” – with a “P”, rather than a “Face”. Interestingly, the price for such a challenging grading system is as high as $40-50K per annum tuition. By the way, after paying $45K for tuition, how would you as a parent feel (react) when you receive an overly excited “collect” telephone call from your freshman son or daughter after final exams exuberantly rejoicing “Guess what Mom and Dad, I got straight P’s!….buy me a car”.
Might be the most innocent yet hauntingly profound piece de resistance moment by the “Happy Face generation” imposed upon the boomer generation
So is a “P” a good academic return on that significant financial investment, or for that matter a child’s personal growth and development? Unfortunately, only a few would argue not, and most would be better off buying a new Lexus instead. At least Lexus has an attitude to compete for a customer’s A+ evaluation with its Relentless Pursuit of Perfection mission statement. And it never calls you with wonderful “P” news…at least without throwing in a navigation system during sales events.
Now if you’re like most parents and totally confused as to the difference in metrics between a Green Happy Face, a Blue Happy Face, and a Gold Happy Face, it’s really quite literally, academic. How about it simply means the schoolwork made the teacher happy, happier or happiest. Never a Red Un-Happy Face as in “your work stinks”, for the current two younger, “pure (sense of) entitlement” generations. They tantrum to “no”.
Happy Faces send a message to children that what they presented or accomplished is OK. The same as Pass/Fail perpetuate that understanding at later ages, both systems holistically telling the recipient the minimum is acceptable, and all anyone expects. So no need to try harder.
Question: Should a child be rewarded for handing in a dog eaten, Captain Crunch sticky, half completed math assignment with an expected (entitled) kid friendly favorite “Happy Face”, of any color? Or should that student be told their work is totally unacceptable for this, that and other constructive reasons…”And oh by the way, no Happy Face for you young man/lady - DO IT OVER”.
Of course, being unaccustomed to such blunt, constructive honesty on their performance, expect the first few times this honesty is employed to yield a knee jerk reaction from the child clamoring with “but I’m “entitled” to a Happy Face. I’ve never not got one”. Key word for these younger generations being (feeling) “ENTITLED” (to everything)
The “how dare you” attitude many parents have of teachers (and themselves for that matter) conducting such (brutally) honest and difficult evaluations confirms just how weak and irresponsible this parent generation is. Basically, a dysfunctional “I (parent) want my Johnny and my Jenny to be President, but don’t want you (teacher) dare criticize his or her schoolwork and make them unhappy (aka stepping stone to better)”. It’s a fundamentally flawed value and development system that’s taken root and growing like a weed. One which in and of itself gets an “F” grade – and certainly no Happy Face. That “F” grade goes directly to Mr. and Mrs. Johnny/Jenny parent.
It is a value siphoning, if not totally parasitic approach which is propagating through the generations and in the big picture, ultimately negatively impacting near and long tem U.S. global competitiveness and leader choice as the case may be, where the attitudes in most other nations the U.S. competes with is quite the opposite. They value real, constructive feedback, grade differentiated oriented education and learning, not U.S. style coddling and feel good hand holding.
Disney World is a nice vacation spot. Unfortunately, children of today think it to be the “Real World”, rather than being properly nurtured by parents to distinguish between fantasy world and real world, and properly preparing for the latter – the “real” Real World. Meaning the challenging global competitive marketplace they will soon be thrust into – alone and unprepared. When they then startlingly call home, saying “Hey Mom and Dad, I don’t see Goofy”, the parents can answer back, with either a coddling “We’re right here Sweetie”, or finally an honest “You won’t honey. This is the Real World, not the Magic Kingdom”.
Of course, the truth is often difficult as will be the reaction from previously unchallenged, always happy children, who have become accustomed to (thinking) doing no wrong, having never been given higher expectations and/or accordingly constructively criticized for their performance and results. In fact, since never being told the difference between great, good and crappy schoolwork, “most” (not all) have absolutely no clue what’s sub-par in terms of effort and performance (and what they deliver). At least that’s there takeaway from this parental “guidance neglect”. The “lack of” critical and constructive feedback leaving them with an (illusionary) impression “all’s good, if not hunky dory” when really they should be responsibly told “your work stinks, and here’s how to fix it”…and sternly told “Johnny/Jenny, you most definitely will…and oh by the way no Hannah Montana or Pros vs. Joes for you tonight their young lady/buster.”
At the end of the day, isn’t that the core responsibility of parents and the education system? That is to drive students and children to strive to appreciate the challenging society they will be entering and to prepare as best they can to reach one’s individual potential to optimally participate and contribute in that society. That requires steady, constructive criticism and guidance, of course “balanced” with an appropriate number of “attagirls and attaboys” throughout their formative years. It’s in fact the only way one learns, develop and grows – to be all they can be, rather than what it is today - part of what they might be.
It’s a parental responsibility that should no longer be shirked, and in doing so, doing the child/student and the country a distinct and required service. It raises the standard/bar in the entire population, and by default the leaders that emerge from that population, driving off the premise that it’s not okay to be mediocre – any longer. It’s only okay to be as great as you can be, i.e. achieving “your own” full potential, whatever that may be, and of course different for every human being. The problem now is that the expectation, grading, and feedback system leaves students completely unaware of their potential and therefore no drive (incentive) and direction on how to achieve it.
It’s time for this parental generation to break the “guidance neglect” cycle and make a statement that it is neither happy with its Presidential candidate choices nor is it happy with happy faces - period. Instead, you “demand” real evaluations and real feedback.
Maybe if this paradigmal attitude shift began now, in 45 years or less, we can arrive at a point when the kids of today then delightedly say “Wow, what an amazing crop of Presidential candidates…It’s really hard to decide on which one. They’re all just so incredibly fantastic”, rather than as their parents and grandparents before them were resigned to the inevitable “Gees, that’s all we have to select from?”. Then close their eyes in the voting booth and go “Eenie meenie miney moe”, and pull an arbitrary lever, many and increasingly so given the swelling ranks of Independents, not even caring if it’s a Democrat or Republican.
How then to change this dysfunctional paradigm?
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
