249 online
 
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 49 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing Summarizing
Life Arts    H4'ed 4/17/12

The annual National Columnists' Day column

By       (Page 2 of 4 pages) Become a premium member to see this article and all articles as one long page.   No comments

Bob Patterson
Message Bob Patterson
Become a Fan
  (10 fans)

In describing the conduct of a battle between rival houses of prostitution, he informs readers that the madam with seniority hired coolies to defecate on the front steps of the rival location just as the evening was about to begin.

 

One kindly Shanghai mortician used to offer free services to indigent Americans who died far from their native land.   He also, Freddie reported, paid for shipping and interment back home in the USA.   Customs started digging up the opium laden coffins before the morticians' associates and then the concept of the altruistic motivation went up in smoke (as it were).

 

Freddie got to visit at Madame Sun Yat-sen's home, thanks to Andre Malraux.

 

Freddie wrote a book about the glory days in Shanghai.   When the book was republished in the USA, the American publishing firm gave Freddie the run-a-round rather than residuals.

 

In the 1975 article, Freddie glossed over the time line and ignored certain gaps in the narrative saying only that when it came time to apply for a job at the San Francisco Examiner, that "Sing Sing doesn't provide irresistible references."

 

Back in the day when Frisco was home for very memorable gin mills   such as "The Fly Trap," "Mark's Lower Bar," and the "Home That Jack Built;" Freddie/Bob became good friends with San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen, and the two gathered material by going bar hopping together.   Feddie/Bob conceded that his arch rival was "a shade faster because of fancier footwork and better streamlining."

 

Once, after the two purchased some toy machine guns and participated in some late night frolicking, they were apprehended by two rookie policemen and the columnists indignantly inquired if the youngster knew who they were trying to arrest.   When they arrived at the station house, they walked in and the watch commander broke into a hearty laughing fit and finally managed to ask the two patrolmen if they knew who it was that they were trying to arrest.   (Case dismissed -- on the spot.)

 

Freddie pushed the boundaries and got in hot water with management when he used the word "poontang."   He was forbidden to use that word ever again and the top proofreader was charged with making sure the embargoed word was banished forever.   In a description of a party that included a list of forty names, a mysterious guest named Poon Tang was listed and won Freddie a wager for a double sawbuck.

 

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3  |  4

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).

Rate It | View Ratings

Bob Patterson Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future (more...)
 

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

 
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter

Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

"Texas" Revisited: Michener's Warning

Huffington Post to bloggers: Drop Dead!

Freedom of the Press was fun while it lasted

Questions about Gen. Patton's Death

Did Rove engineer Cain's Florida win?

A relentless photo quest

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend