The President continued, saying “Consequently, I have issued Executive Order 16661, authorizing the Department of Defense to widely deploy biological weapons specifically targeting all bird species, and we expect… we’ll take care of this threat before Mr. Obama is sworn in on Tuesday.” Speaking to the possible impact on his legacy from such an action, the President said “I think history will judge I made the right decision, given … When the American public can again feel safe to fly without fear of terrorist birds looming about, um, I think they’ll thank me.”
Update 2:
Initial responses to the President’s plan have been sparse, but a CSPAN call-in program indicates that a majority of the American public believes [paraphrasing]: “baaaaaa.” Coverage in the mainstream media has also been sparse, but notably, Bill O’Reilly of Fox News lashed-out against the government for not acting sooner, saying: “How many times do I have to say this? Are these people idiots? Look, it’s time we take these terrorists down, and I don’t mean just the birds, I mean the whole lot of them. They are a threat to our way of life, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit around and watch our country be destroyed by these low-lifes”
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