My response : It can take a long time--sometimes
many years--to work inner passivity out of our system and tame our inner critic.
If we practice daily attention to this knowledge, we can observe gradual
progress from month to month. This can leave us feeling deeply gratified and
encouraged. It helps to be patient as we allow our destiny to unfold.
The inner critic will continue to "pop up"
on a regular basis. Now, though, we see it more clearly for what it is--a primitive
aggression in our psyche that will continue to rule us unless we intervene.
Each time we expose it, and manage not to take it so seriously or be
intimidated by it, we are weakening it.
You say, "It does take energy to keep
focusing on yourself." Actually, we focus on ourselves in a negative way (and
plunge into self-centeredness) when we're hopelessly caught in inner conflict.
In contrast, we benefit by deeper awareness because it starts to shift the
focus from our suffering on to the dynamics of our psyche. This awareness
protects us from our harsh inner critic. We no longer need to concoct inner
defenses that burn up a lot of energy.
You're right that inner passivity can be a
bigger problem when you're tired or feeling ill. Yet inner passivity can be
directly associated with feeling tired or ill, so you'll likely feel better
physically as well as emotionally when you're breaking free of it. My tip: Keep
your eye on the ball and don't let inner passivity or the inner critic run your
life. See these aspects of yourself in a neutral way, not as something to
regret or be ashamed about or feel overwhelmed by. Try to love yourself even as
you see your weaknesses.
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