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Jesus in Salem? Local Pub Hosts Famous Patron

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Message Daniel Patrick Welch

Still, COVID restrictions, which have been a major thorn in the side for restauranteurs everywhere, threatened to taint the evening for The Messiah. A bit of a to-do erupted among staff when the question arose of whether The Prophet was ordering enough food. Guidelines imposed during the pandemic require that alcohol can be served only alongside food that is prepared onsite, not just snacks, and that patrons are limited to a 90-minute stay.

One server was overheard saying "Look, if our Lord and Savior only wants water and bread, then that's what he gets. And I'll tell The Prophet he can stay as long as he likes. To hell with what the governor says." An admonishing look from the Almighty Father prompted a quick correction: "I mean figuratively, of course. I'm not qualified to decide who goes where. Besides," she added, "he's the Redeemer. I'm sure he'll work it so that there is enough for everybody."

The Risen Lord himself was quick to downplay the fuss. "I'm just passing through. I'm not here for the Rapture or anything," the Way, Truth and the Life explained. "I have to head back tomorrow. This is just a great place to get a last... um... bite to eat."

When asked if that meant he would not have time to speak with His Holiness Pope Francis, The Logos showed his only sign of irritation, though he may have been ribbing his questioner: "You have The Word Made Flesh right here with you; why are you thinking about the Vicar of Me on Earth?"

Indeed, it was sound advice for troubled times: just relax and enjoy a brief respite with friends. One diner, however, thought the outing could have been better if it was warm enough to open the charming outside dining space. "It's such a neat little space," she mused. "It's like Gethsemane out there."

Asked if The Victorious One was a good tipper, another server demurred. "You don't want to look greedy in front of Christ the Lord. That whole camel through the eye of a needle thing and all that. "Yeah," Welch added, "Plus you don't want an angry diner knocking over tables and stuff. Though I'm sure that was a one-time thing."

(Article changed on Apr 05, 2021 at 9:25 AM EDT)

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(c) 2014 Daniel Patrick Welch. Reprint permission granted with credit and link to http://danielpwelch.com. Political analyst, writer, linguist and activist Daniel Patrick Welch lives and writes in Salem, Massachusetts, with his wife. Together (more...)
 

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