One website, Japanese 101 explains, " Tatemai means to prop it up, frontal view, or upfront view or not necessary[il]y the truth. [The c]losest analogy . . . Tatemai is what politicians usually say during campaign speeches. They say things which they may not mean but which they think the other side (constituents) wants to hear or expect them to say. So many . . . times (most of the time), Japanese businessman would say things in [a] Tatemai manner but does not really mean it, but said it because that was what was expected in front of groups or in public." For example, when one is "[i]n a business meeting, one is always in public. In a formal setting, whether parties or meetings, one is always in public."
Likewise, "Hon-ne means [literally] real bone or from the bone or the real truth. Hon-ne is rarely spoken in public. Hon-ne is supposed to be 'kept for oneself', not for others to know. This is especially true if it is a negative answer or feeling."
NOTE: Actually, among close confidants, I know from person experience that one can usually share statements and secrets of "Hon-ne" in Japan, and, naturally, one can trust one's real friends and "trusted ones" not to make the truth public. ( I wonder if this is not also the case in Taiwan. (I would imagine so. Taiwanese Christians, I know relate that way in private counseling and I believe student-aged friends do, too.)
On the one hand, according to Amy Liu, the Taiwanese people--perhaps due to island nation's history of occupation and a great variety of changing regimes over the last 4 centuries--are perhaps more face-concerned, i.e. as a people, than are the Mainland Chinese or even the Japanese. The Taiwanese are certainly appear much more secretive or seem to communicate of themselves less vital information than even the Japanese and many other East Asian peoples with whom I have lived and worked with over the decades.
For example, I had a conversation with two different Taiwanese during this past month. Both agreed that the first time when either ever received an "official orientation" at their workplace or at school was when they went abroad to seminars or to university. However, I imagine that all high-context cultures appear from a Western perspective to be quite secretive. This is because we don't know with-any-ease how to listen and observe for a great variety of cultural symbols and indirect language.
NOTE: Likewise, secrecy was so strong under Cold War Taiwanese Martial Law here in the Matsu Islands that the Taiwanese Air Force was not always informed of the need to take part in operations to do battle with the Mainland Chinese on one occasion. In the 1960s, the Taiwan navy and army mobilized and battled the communists for several hours before they realized that no one had contacted the air force to provide air cover.
One obvious reason for this sort of confusion is that the Taiwanese and their neighbors use a lot of indirect speech, so as not to be--or appear to be--too critical. "One may be explaining a large rock garden but that person maybe speaking about the relationship between their two companies."
I'M NOT LISTENING?
Concerning the above-mentioned tatemai and honne in Japanese, there are many stories--which are quite similar to my communicative experiences in Taiwan and a in a few other Asian lands. For example, according to Japanese 101: "There are many stories . . . where a westerner comes to Japan to sell something and meets a Japanese company. He comes every two months or so to have meetings and dinner with this potential Japanese company. The Japanese side is very cordial and polite every time and very nice to him taking him out to various Japanese and Continental dinner every time he visits. The westerner goes back and reports to his boss that everything is going great and he expect to close an order or sign an agreement on his next visit. He does this for about a year and no order or an agreement is signed. His boss gets impatient and cuts off his travel budget (maybe him also) and the westerner scratches his head as to what went wrong."
The important reflection which a westerner needs to make concerns the fact that perhaps "this westerner did not listen to the other side carefully. Tatemai is always polite, not necessary true feeling, nor positive outcome. Politeness does not necessary mean agreement. Maybe there were hints (negative ones) dropped during dinner or karaoke and he did not catch it."
At my work this past year, I was told originally that I could use my school's two motor-scooters whenever they were not-in-use by others. Suddenly, last winter this privilege was taken away, but I didn't discover this was the case immediately.
What was stated to me was simply, "We cannot find the keys [to the motor scooters]."
Finally, I learned around April of this year that due to insurance regulations, all teachers who did not have a motor scooter licenses were no longer allowed to use the school's scooters as private transportation. I asked, "Why didn't anyone simply tell me of this change months ago?"
I thought about the indirect speech, "How would a Westerner be able to read between-the-lines or indirect-speech of my superiors?" I.e. unless someone teaches me the clues to listen for?
At first, when they told me that the keys to the scooters were lost, I really thought that they meant it. Later, I thought perhaps the schools management was incompetent because they could not get around to making new keys to replace the lost ones. (I was wrong of course.)
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