Stages of Development
In light of social programming by parental influence, we can move on the the levels of development. Erik Erikson defined eight stages suggesting that a person passes through them in age groups. and, of course, there are many more psychologists who have developed their own theories.
Erikson, probably the best known child psychologist suggests that a child goes through the first five stages of development, usually without problems, but insists that unresolved issues continue to haunt the individual until such time as they are resoled. So a person may move onto the next stage carrying baggage of the unresolved.
At the point of his sixth stage, he presents Intimacy vs. Isolation. Either a person can share themselves with others without the fear of being engulfed, or, if they have a weak understanding of who they are, they will probably go through life in unsatisfactory superficial relationships. Only the Authoritarian parenting style of warm social regard supports self-knowledge. Many people get stuck at this level.
Between the sixth and seventh stage lies the perpetuation of the species through procreativity. It is at the seventh stage where we see the possibility of arrested development.
At the seventh stage Generativity vs. Self Absorption & Stagnation. Either parents actively participate in the caring and education of their off-spring, to develop a better world in the future for all mankind; or, they get stuck in their own crap and fail to develop further.
The final stage of Erikson's theory Ego-Integrity vs. Despair is the result of resolving all the previous stages, allowing one to life a full rich life, without the fear of dying; or, "die like a dog" knowing that they never fully developed.
Ego-Development
Moving from physical development, Jane Loevinger developed a 10 step hierarchy of ego- development which simplifies our understanding of arrested-development in stages.
Firstly is the Pre-Social Stage, where a child learns the difference between self and others. Followed by the Symbiotic Stage which emerges with language development. Then comes the Impulsive Stage where identity is established by allowing impulses to run freely. The Self-Protective Stage is where we learn self-control over impulses by anticipating immediate rewards or punishments. This is the stage where the individual learns how to game the system.
Most of the above are easily dealt with by everyone. But then comes the Conformist Stage, where children and adults begin to identify their wellbeing with a group. Here is where people model their lives upon group expectations. This is the stage where individuality and autonomy are destroyed in favor of being accepted by others.
Karen Horney, a well noted psychologist, psychiatrist, and contributor to feminine psychology, developed a list of 10 common neuroses found in society (Horney, K. Self Analysis; 1942, New York : Norton) Among them are: the neurotic need for affection (acceptance & membership); the neurotic need for control of one's life through restricted narrow borders (security); the neurotic need for social recognition and prestige (appearance & popularity); and the neurotic need for personal admiration (validation). Horney's neurotic needs demonstrate the reasons behind Conformity. Fundamentalists use these neurotic needs in forming their followers into groups of like minded individuals; into churches, temples, mosques and religious sects. For at this point of ego-development, adherents are easily recruited from the masses who fail to develop any further. And don't want to.
At the Conformist Stage we find the polarized thinking of "either you are with us, or you are against us." and "Either you believe in the Koran (or the Bible) or you must be converted or killed." All things are readily defined in black & white thinking processes and critical-thinking and individuality are dismissed. Here we also see stereotypical assumptions and indifference to all who are not members. Many people who have not established their own set of values and beliefs (raise in families using the Indulgent, Indifferent and Authoritarian parenting styles) fall victim to the pseudo-authority of Fundamentalism in order to find love and acceptance.
If an individual is willing to further his ego-development, he is able to throw off the binds of being controlled by others, and venture into the rest of Loevinger's steps of acquiring a fully functional and life fulfilling existence.
The Self Aware Level allows the person to increase their knowledge of themselves, and grow with the individual diversity found in others. Black & White thinking gives way to the shades of grey and the multitude of opinions and feelings which make for good decision making. No longer chained to the neurosis of acceptance, these individuals become capable of seeing all sides of of an argument, and are able to handle cognitive-dissonance by maintaining more than one thought in their mind at any given time. At this level, the ego is able to detect lies, inconsistencies, and misinformation as distractions to ego-development.
The Conscious Stage allows relationships to become more mutual; life becomes richer with the acceptance of another's individuality. Established rules (unchanging truths) become of little importance, as rules should be self-emergent according to the context of a situation. There is a tendency to allow new information, from different sources to enter the decision making dynamic.
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