We Americans are the fittest of the species, and hence the most well-equipped to survive. History has proven that beyond the shadow of a doubt. As the fittest, we have the right to utilize our inferiors to ensure our survival. So why not eat them?
We already spend nearly a trillion dollars a year defending ourselves from millions upon millions of evil savages. Rather than devastating the infrastructure of nations we are Americanizing with bombs and missiles, why not round up uncooperatives and carve them up into delicious steaks in Halliburton-constructed meat-packing facilities?
Imagine what a peaceful world it would be if we began serving Palestinian instead of KC strip.
A billion Chinese Commies would guarantee us an adequate food supply for years to come. And talk about solving the population problem!
For those who prefer sun-dried jerky, there’d be Arab, African and Persian cuisine on the menu. Those savage creatures are only standing between us and OUR precious resources anyway.
And let’s not forget those bastards who beat us in Vietnam. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
For those of us living in the free world, where democracy, capitalism and Anglo culture reign supreme, the most appealing aspect to putting human flesh on our plates would be the elimination of the undesirables, useless eaters, and enemies in our midst.
Mexican illegals? Yo quiero Taco Bell!
Welfare queens, crack whores, and drug dealers? Dark meat anyone?
Gays and lesbians? Adds a whole new connotation to “taste the rainbow,” doesn’t it?
Repulsive homeless scum? Their meat might be a little tough and stringy but what’s wrong with eating a little wild game once in awhile?
Domestic terrorists and anti-American dissenters? We’d savor that flavor, wouldn’t we?
Close your eyes and envision a world defined by these conditions:
1. A sustainable human population level
2. An end to the relentless efforts of those animal rights crackpots.
3. A cessation of food riots
4. The elimination of the possibility of starvation for those of us who deserve to live
5. A significant reduction of greenhouse gasses
6. World peace (dissenters, non-conformists, and terrorists are pretty harmless once they’re on our dinner plates!)
Implementing such a plan will be fraught with difficulty. It will also be quite an adjustment to adapt to our new source of the meat we crave.
However, our non-negotiable American Way of Life is at stake. If we want to preserve the safety, comfort, and pleasure to which we TRUE Americans are entitled, we must put aside our fears and silly moral inhibitions.
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