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"A Modest Proposal": Bring Back the Inquisition!

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Bernard Weiner
Message Bernard Weiner

GREED IS GOOD

Luckily, the financing system for American politics is on our side. Our corporate donors write the really big checks for the campaigns -- all nice and legal thanks to our compatriots on the Supreme Court -- and thus more or less control the candidates and the leadership of the GOP. In short, no matter who wins the Republican nomination, they must bow to our movement's will. We pay the pipers, they sing our tune. 

Even if Obama were to win the general election and wanted to slide toward the Left, we've moved the mainstream political goal-posts so far to the Right that we've boxed him in as well, forcing him to make compromises with our immense power, our immen$e largess, within our pre-set ideological constraints.

In short, for us it's a win-win all around.

THE ULTIMATE MORAL BATTLE

But the key take-away from this analysis is that 2012 -- despite the few wussy Occupy anarchists here and abroad -- is the right time to launch our campaign to Smite for The Lord. If we miss this opportunity to reshape the country in His image, to get the right sort of leaders elected, to help create the theocracy and martial society that God wants us to live under -- if we back away from that clear calling, we will join the rest of the world in its secular slide toward the brimstones of Hell. 

Our faith rallies us to the cause. We can use any tactic, any strategy, break any human-made laws we need to, because we are the shock troops for The Lord.  All it will take for our crusade to be successful is our hard work and the actual or metaphorical burning of a few political heretics at the stake. The other side is composed of nice-guy liberals who don't know how to fight, and wouldn't want to fight even if they knew how to go about it. They will either meekly keep quiet or will move toward us -- or else.

We hope we can do this without too much violence. But whether or not we are forced to go there, it's important for our side to prepare the ground for our spiritual/political revolution: gather the tinder, oil your weapons, dive into the world of political hardball and give no quarter to our enemies. It's them or us. There is no middle way, no acceptable compromise, no negotiating with the Devil. It's God vs. the AntiChrist. 

Remember: Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. Prepare thyself! # 

===============

Bernard Weiner, a Ph.D. in government & international relations, has written numerous other satires as co-editor of The Crisis Papers (http://www.crisispapers.org/weinerpubs.htm). He has taught at universities in California and Washington, and was a writer-editor with the San Francisco Chronicle for nearly 20 years. To respond: Email address removed  

Copyright 2012 by Bernard Weiner.

First published by The Crisis Papers 2/18/12.  w ww.crisispapers.org/essays12w/proposal.htm  

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Bernard Weiner, Ph.D. in government & international relations, has taught at universities in California and Washington, worked for two decades as a writer-editor at the San Francisco Chronicle, and currently serves as co-editor of The Crisis Papers (more...)
 
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