Now we come to quite a
startling consideration. Suicidal thoughts, as well as acts of suicide, appear
to be psychological defenses designed to cover up our unconscious participation
in (or emotional attachment to) the experience of inner passivity. Because we
are desperate to deny our passivity (to keep it unconscious) we need to try to
"prove," as a psychological defense, how much we hate to experience the
helplessness. For the defense to work, we're required to accentuate the sense
of our misery. The defense goes like this: "I'm not looking for the feeling of
being helpless. I'm not wallowing or indulging in that feeling. In fact, I hate
the feeling so much that I'm wishing I were dead and didn't have to feel
anything." Also driving suicidal thoughts is the individual's temptation, out
of profound inner passivity, to perceive suicide as a display of conviction and
aggression.
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