How Not To Run a Business--A 2008 Case Study of the Asurion Corporation
If you have cell phones you probably insure them against loss, water damage, and breakage. Chances are your phones, like mine, are “insured” by Asurion.
My wife was ill last week, fell asleep, and bumped her phone off the bed into a bowl of sauce. I contacted Verizon, who directed me to Asurion, to whom I have been paying cell phone replacement insurance premiums for many years.
How many chances does a company get to fix a problem? One? Two? Three?
Five? Asurion has now had over 7 days and more than 10 separate contacts to resolve my simple, straight-forward replacement claim, yet today my wife still has no functioning replacement phone.
I. Asurion Sends Us Faulty Equipment
Everything seemed to start well. We paid the $50 deductible and the replacement phone arrived from Smyrnna, TN within 2 days. I took the phone directly to Verizon that evening to set it up for use. Nice work, Asurion.
Oops—the new battery didn’t hold a charge. After 16 hours on the charger (the directions warned that at least 12 hours were required for the battery to perform properly) my wife’s first call ended with the frantic beeps that signal imminent battery failure. So, we re-charged the phone and tried again the next day, only to experience a repeat battery failure with the next call.
II. Asurion Fails to Respond to My E-Mail
Contact #1—I e-mailed Asurion explaining the battery problem and requesting replacement instructions. After two days with no e-mail response from Asurion I decided to telephone them. Alas, no phone contact information appears on their brochure or website, so I did the usual web look-ups and found the nearest Asurion location in San Mateo, CA (888-881-2622).
III. Phone Call to Asurion Fails to Reach a Solution: “Sorry, System Updating”
Contact #2—Telephone call (2/19/08) After a tiresome process of entering information, listening to mindless “musical” drivel, being warned about insurance fraud, and waiting desperately for a human response, I finally reached someone and explained my problem. She replied that because their system was updating she couldn’t help me then, and promised to call back within 2-3 hours. The promised call back never came, not that afternoon, not even the next day, 2/20/08.
IV. Eight Consecutive Calls in One Day and Still No Solution
Contacts #3-10 -- (2/21/08) Today’s calls comprise 8 contacts with Asurion staff on 2/21, including Letitia, Kristen, Brenda, Elsa, Sonya, Sharon, and other phone-bankers—male & female—who didn’t even give their names. Brenda, a “supervisor”, promised she would call Verizon for information and phone me back right away; she never called back, so I called again several hours later and started from scratch with Sonya.
Three of my futile calls this morning lasted over 35 minutes each. Three other calls resulted in Asurion staff telling me, “Sorry, I can’t help you now, because our system is updating.” (I kid you not!) After the earlier fake put-off due to “updating,” I called back immediately and another staff member began to assist me without reference to any system updating. Two other calls ended when Asurion staff abandoned me on hold. Yup, said they would return to my call but never did.
V. Eventually, I was directed to the Complaint Resolution [sic] Department (866-397-6498), which—as you might have guessed—failed to resolve my complaint.
Why did I need to wait three hours on hold? I was repeatedly told that the burden and the fault was mine—the battery not working: did I complete the troubleshooting process?; I didn’t have a phone serial number handy (for a battery?); I didn’t have the correct serial number (i.e., which would imply records at the Asurion were mistaken); or I didn’t have an “ESN” number—which Asurion could have tracked easily through their Smyrnna, TN, records; or the problem was mine because I didn’t have Verizon set up the new phone (I did). Another replacement maneuver was terminated when the “system” said I would need to pay another $50 co-pay. Finally, there is the curious question of why Asurion needs a phone serial number to replace the (detachable) battery.
Vi. Wait & Hope
After three to four hours of futile phone calls, multiple goose chases to retrieve yet another obscure number that was readily accessible all along on Asurion’s computers, I made final call late this afternoon to Brenda, the supervisor who never called me back. Instead I reached Sharon, who refused to transfer me to Brenda, insisting that I begin over again with the routine verification questions. (OK, whatever…) Late this afternoon Sharon wrote down yet one more mystery number from the back of my wife’s phone, sprung no new information requests on me, made the slightly encouraging request for my mailing address (Whoopee), and—be still, my heart--promised to call me tomorrow with a status report. Not a new battery, but a status report.
Dare I allow my hopes to rise? Shall I risk disappointment again tomorrow? Can Sharon really wangle me a simple replacement battery for our LG-3450, one full week after I first reported to Asurion that their replacement equipment didn’t work properly?
Or, for the patient readers of this forlorn saga, who may also be “insured” by Asurion, what will your experience be, should you ever make a replacement claim to Asurion? Will you hold Asurion accountable for performing under your contract? Or will it just seem so much easier—after enduring hours of trivial music-on-hold and mind-numbing delay tactics—to buy a new phone?
I am forwarding this question to my state’s Insurance Commissioner. I hope you do, too, if the Asurion Corporation tries this routine on you. And, Yes, I will be canceling my Asurion “insurance” this week.
Illigitimi Non Carborundum!!!
