The call went through to a 'call center' in Pakistan.
I explained that I was feeling suicidal.
They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive
a truck or fly an airplane....
I hung up. Later that night, unable to sleep, I tried again, complaining of insomnia.
The call went through a a call center in India.
They were very excited and asked if I'd be interested in a 7-11 franchise in Columbus Ohio, that I'd be perfect for the night shift.
My kid woke up crying, with an earache. I called the helpline and told them about my kid. This time I got a good ol' American, from South Dakota.
They called me a Hillarycare commie socialist and told me to get a job and pay a doctor like a real American.
I'm thinking of calling Pakistan again.
(adapted from a joke on the web. )