It's Autumn, Michael Chertoff, and your gut was wrong!

PREFACE:

This article was begun on the morning of September 15, 2007 at 04:45 hours. The idea came to me two days ago. I had planned on starting it then, but I had to resurrect one of our TV's from the dead. With all the troubles that came up to try to put the kibosh on that idea, such as corralling the money from someone who owed it to me, to going all over the Dallas Metro area to scrounge up the required parts, it's amazing I got anything accomplished other than that. But I did get the TV fixed at long last. I celebrated by watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

I am not going to publish this article until the day of the equinox. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, I want to be fair. It is possible that someone could pull off a terrorist attack within the next seven days. Possible, not probable. Second, I didn't want to be as arrogant as to come out even one hour ahead of the end of summer. If this article is to have any bite at all, it has to be published officially at the start of autumn. Third, I wanted to give myself enough time so I can tweak it, and make sure that it as well written as I can make it. Finally, even thought he doesn't deserve it and he hasn't earned it, I am more than willing to give Michael Chertoff the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe our goose is cooked before next Sunday morning. Maybe his tarot deck is more charged than mine. Perhaps his mystical, liquid filled "eight ball" is better at prophecy than any other that is presently sitting on a shelf in Spencer's Gifts. Maybe he does have a real connection to the spirit world that would cause his intestinal tract to be more sensitive to the possibility of another terrorist attack on American soil than yours or mine.

If a terrorist attack does come to pass in the next seven days, I will still publish this article. Unlike the assholes in the government, I am not afraid to admit that I can make mistakes, and even be disastrously wrong. Somehow, I get the feeling that isn't going to be an issue!

And now, on with the article...

I want to wish all and sundry a happy Autumnal Equinox. Here we are, at the time of year when day and night are the same length. Here we are, at a time when the northern hemisphere is readying itself for the coming of winter's icy chill. Mother Earth is now preparing for her time of slumber. From now until December, the days will continue to get shorter and the nights longer.

Also, the equinox this year signals the end of the time when the great Michael Chertoff's intestinal tract had predicted another terrorist attack on American soil. Isn't it nice that his gut was once again, completely wrong?

Oh, don't you remember? This great amorphous threat was supposed to show itself some time between the Summer Solstice and now. Well, actually, it was supposed to show itself sometime between the tenth of July, which is when the statement was made, and now.

When I first heard him make his great intellectual intestinal invocation, I knew it was nothing but a batch of Grade "A" bullshit...er...impacted human shit! I knew it was nothing more than another perfunctory push of the fear button. I knew that once again, those who think themselves to be heirs apparent to Michel de Nostradam (Nostradamus to you and I) would be dead wrong. I also wanted to make sure that I reminded everyone who comes here for their alternate opinion fix just what kind of mental midgets are really in charge in DC...as if it needs to be done!

Oh, to be sure, there were some terrorist happenings over the summer. Ok, so the ones that made the news weren't all that well planned, they weren't all that well executed, and well, let's call a spade a spade, they were pulled off by complete dolts; definitely not what one would call the A game players. If these attacks were, in fact, carried out by Al Quaeda, they were pulled off by the nose-picking, feeble-minded, "we don't talk about them," arm of Al Quaeda. For your edification, I will list the threats that happened between Michael Chertoff's great prophecy, and now.

I will ignore the attack of Virginia Tech by Seung-Hui Cho. While his actions do qualify as a terrorist attack, it was a more or less home grown attack. It wasn't part of a greater plan by Al Quaeda to have all of America shaking in their boots. Besides that, it happened before the Summer Solstice, therefore, it's not covered by the auspices of Chertoff's tortured tummy. I mention it only because it was listed as a terror attack at the place where I researched the terror attacks in this country. I just want to be thorough .

Then there's the Fort Dix plan, "foiled" on May 7. Technically, once again, I shouldn't list this incident because it doesn't fall between the time of Chertoff's gas attack and now. However, I know if I publish this article and don't at least mention this "attack", someone will trash this article because I forgot to mention this momentous terror plot. Surely, this terror plot would have crippled Fort Dix for at least two or three hours...as they placed the dead terrorists in body bags.

This particular "threat" was, without a doubt, the most comical, ridiculous, and moronic attempt to scare us by way of the fear button. One can only ponder the mental instability that would drive the "terrorists" of this plot to think they could have their way in a fort filled with ARMED AMERICAN SOLDIERS, while they are dressed as pizza delivery men. Of course, this pales in comparison to the stupidity that would bring one of these mental midgets to take a videotape of their great "work" to a commercial video duplication and DVD creation business. How fucking stupid do you need to be to not realize doing something like that is going to bring the FBI down on your ass like a flock of seagulls descending on a fishing boat?

Then there's the plot to blow up Kennedy Airport's fuel supply by bombing the pipeline that lead from the fuel bunker to the airport itself. Once again, this "threat" really shouldn't be written of here, because it happened BEFORE the turn of the summer solstice; June 3, to be exact. Once again, it was attempted by what seems to be the Keystone Kops of the terrorist world. Once again, it was foiled because of the stupidity of the terrorists in question. Since it was a terrorist plot against America, I include it to show a pattern...a pattern of stupidity.

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