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January 30, 2007 at 07:41:23
by Mike Bendzela Page 1 of 2 page(s) |
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I got caught in a traffic jam the other day because of some librul war protesters and I didn't even drive over them with my Escalade. Felt too sorry for them.
It was a butt-cracking minus-ten degrees, with a helluva wind, but that's not why I pitied them. It was on account of their nylon/polyester/polyolefin parkas with Thinsulate stuffing, their polyurethane footwear and their synthetic rubber soles.
They all held plastic cups filled with coffee shipped from Guatemala. Many wore little "glasses" (no glass there, polycarbonate). Hell, I even saw an old lady with a walker, probably harboring a plastic hip or two.
The poor dupes were swimming in the oil they hated and didn't even know it.
I'm stopped alongside some neo-hippy and his flock of chicks holding signs that say "No blood for oil" done in acrylic paint, so I ease down my window and say to him, "How'd you all get here?"
The size and splendor of my ride fairly makes his nostrils twitch. I turn my heater on HI.
"We drove all the way from Maine," he says.
"In a horse and buggy?" I say. "That's pretty impressive."
Now he looks at me like I got eyes on stalks. "Five of us crammed into my Dodge Neon."
"Sounds like fun. You run it with ethanol or foot pedals?"
By now several other English majors have pulled themselves away from their cell phones long enough to start gathering at my door like moths around a compact fluorescent bulb.
"Bring the troops home!" one girl shrieks through expensive orthodontics. "The war is a lost cause!"
"The war ain't over yet," I inform her, "and the troops are there to stay." Now they can scarcely believe they got a war supporter in their sights that don't look like a pile of chins stacked in front of a TV camera. I'm just snug, and warm, and right.
The clichés start erupting from their mouths in huge, colorful chunks:
"There were no weapons of mass destruction!"
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| 3 comments |
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Kill, Pillage, and Plunder
I am saddened that lying, killing, and stealing are justified by an apathetic, cynical jerk who thinks that our Department of Defense and the blood of our honorable service men and women are expendable tools that guarantee some more fuel for his luxurious SUV monstrosity. What an A-hole! Guys like this make it very clear why really oppressive luxury taxes (say... doubling the cost of the most inefficient vehicles) should be slapped on buyers of these multi-ton gas guzzling grotesqueries. The smug jerko gets to burn lots of fuel going about his cynical, enemy-making bizzz-ness and his taxes get to fund environmental mitigation projects and educational programs aimed at weaning the oil addicted inefficient weasels from the government teat of blood-subsidized oil. American service men and women swear to protect and uphold the Constitution. They volunteer to protect and defend "Freedom". But some ignorant fools think that freedom means that Americans are somehow endowed with the freedom to forcefully steal and consume all the world's resources without just recompense. Yes the oil we burn has been secured with hundreds of thousands of gallons of blood spilled (http://www.barrelsofblood.com). Children, grandparents, women, and men have paid for our imperial greed so that the energy corporations could post the most obscene corporate profits in the history of the world, while thick-skinned dinosaurs cruise around with the heat turned up high, insulated from inconvenient realities by tons of luxuriously upholstered steel and other creature comforts. Who wants to die and sacrifice for LIES? Who wants more taxes to subsidize oil contracts secured at the point of a gun and gaz-illions of dollars of high tech weaponry? These thick-headed reptiles must be forgiven for falling into the trap of luxury. I am sure he is comforted thinking that all Americans benefit from cheap oil. Don't worry him too much; he won't be convinced otherwise. Just TAX the f*ck out of his unwise choices and become ever more resolved to make it more difficult for his poor lifestyle choices to impact others. by Tim Riley (7 articles, 5 quicklinks, 7 diaries, 148 comments [12 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Tuesday, Jan 30, 2007 at 2:13:38 PM  (0+)
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Reply: Satire?
Someone commented to me that this article is satire. When I first read it I just couldn't let this kind of cynical voice float around OpEdNews unchallenged. When Stephen Colbert invites liberal guests on his show and lambasts them for being wrong-headed and illogical, the best guests rise to the challenge and attempt to subvert the subversion. It is my hope that the reptilian DINO-saurs and other idiots who might silently nod in agreement with the author's satirical voice, stop, pause, and ponder that the arguments presented by the original author are completely ludicrous, without merit, and lame justification for illegal war, murder, mayhem, and lawlessness. Some literal minded fools like myself, I guess, might read the posting and think it was a real opinion/editorial. Gosh golly geewhilickers, I guess that is funny... in a waste my time for nothing sort of way. by Tim Riley (7 articles, 5 quicklinks, 7 diaries, 148 comments [12 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Tuesday, Jan 30, 2007 at 2:24:03 PM (0+)
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It's not satire - it's history
This has been going on for a long time. Take a look at the resume of the guy who wrote what I've linked below (that's right, he won TWO Congressional Medals of Honor, and lived to tell the tale!): http://www.ratical.org/ratville/CAH/warisaracket.html Smedley Darlington Butler Born: West Chester, Pa., July 30, 1881 Educated: Haverford School Married: Ethel C. Peters, of Philadelphia, June 30, 1905 Awarded two congressional medals of honor: capture of Vera Cruz, Mexico, 1914 capture of Ft. Riviere, Haiti, 1917 Distinguished service medal, 1919 Major General - United States Marine Corps Retired Oct. 1, 1931 On leave of absence to act as director of Dept. of Safety, Philadelphia, 1932 Lecturer -- 1930's Republican Candidate for Senate, 1932 Died at Naval Hospital, Philadelphia, June 21, 1940 For more information about Major General Butler, contact the United States Marine Corps. by mike ionata (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 1 comments) on Wednesday, Jan 31, 2007 at 10:01:26 AM (0+)
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