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Yes -- Blood For Oil!
By Mike Bendzela (about the author) Page 1 of 2 page(s)
For OpEdNews: Mike Bendzela - Writer
I got caught in a traffic jam the other day because of some librul war protesters and I didn't even drive over them with my Escalade. Felt too sorry for them.
It was a butt-cracking minus-ten degrees, with a helluva wind, but that's not why I pitied them. It was on account of their nylon/polyester/polyolefin parkas with Thinsulate stuffing, their polyurethane footwear and their synthetic rubber soles.
They all held plastic cups filled with coffee shipped from Guatemala. Many wore little "glasses" (no glass there, polycarbonate). Hell, I even saw an old lady with a walker, probably harboring a plastic hip or two.
The poor dupes were swimming in the oil they hated and didn't even know it.
I'm stopped alongside some neo-hippy and his flock of chicks holding signs that say "No blood for oil" done in acrylic paint, so I ease down my window and say to him, "How'd you all get here?"
The size and splendor of my ride fairly makes his nostrils twitch. I turn my heater on HI.
"We drove all the way from Maine," he says.
"In a horse and buggy?" I say. "That's pretty impressive."
Now he looks at me like I got eyes on stalks. "Five of us crammed into my Dodge Neon."
"Sounds like fun. You run it with ethanol or foot pedals?"
By now several other English majors have pulled themselves away from their cell phones long enough to start gathering at my door like moths around a compact fluorescent bulb.
"Bring the troops home!" one girl shrieks through expensive orthodontics. "The war is a lost cause!"
"The war ain't over yet," I inform her, "and the troops are there to stay." Now they can scarcely believe they got a war supporter in their sights that don't look like a pile of chins stacked in front of a TV camera. I'm just snug, and warm, and right.
The clichés start erupting from their mouths in huge, colorful chunks: 
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