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Are You Thinking of Becoming a Liberal? Consider These Facts

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editor's note: Not so infrequently, we get submissions from right wingers. Here's one from someone who claims to be a former liberal. He sounds like a run of the mill, common dittohead to me. While he labels this satire, I think he believes what he's written.

But he does a nice job of putting out the flawed arguments that Limbaugh and his ilk spew, satisfying the simple minds of right wing simians. I thought it would be fun to run this, with the idea that readers could pick one or two of the items he lists and dispute and argue them in the comments section.

I'll start by agreeing that people are often desperate when they start on the liberal path. They've awakened from their conservative trance of blind ingorance to realize how badly the cons have made things. There are good reasons to be desperate when you finally realize the current condition of the USA.
With Republican approval ratings in crash-landing mode, distraught conservatives are anxiously searching for answers.

What are the options? One can either move to Australia or commit suicide. Some really desperate folks are even thinking of becoming liberals!

To those undecided between suicide and becoming a liberal, please consider the inconsistency and irrational thinking needed to embrace the liberal agenda

* Execution of a convicted killer is cruel, unusual & barbaric; whereas a woman's right to abort the life of an innocent child is inalienable.
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* Starving an innocent victim like Terri Schaivo to death is acceptable; using lethal injection to end the life of a brutal killer is not.

* Burning Old Glory is acceptable free speech, whereas conservatives like Rush Limbaugh routinely engage in unacceptable "hate speech."

* Skyrocketing gasoline prices devastate working American families,but protecting wild animals and obscure organisms is a greater priority.

* Large profits are obscenely un-American, except when enjoyed by George Soros, Oprah Winfrey, Hollywood stars, and other liberals.

* Conservatives working to preserve American culture are bigoted hate mongers, but the "cultural heritage" of new immigrants must be protected and celebrated at all costs.

* Discrimination based on race or gender is wrong. Except when it is waged against Caucasian men, in which case it is mandated by law & called Affirmative Action.

* Invading a foreign nation is wrong, except when illegal aliens from Mexico invade America.

* Those who believe English should be the official American language are "racist," whereas Hispanics who prefer Spanish to English are perfectly justified because diversity is enriching and good.

* The earning power of American citizens is in sharp decline;still, the U.S. should grant amnesty to millions of illegal aliens who will work for lower wages and without benefits.

* Blocking the sale of port security to UAE was necessary to protect homeland security, but securing the border with Mexico would "scapegoat" Hispanics.

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John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.

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Are You Thinking of Becoming a Liberal? Consider These Facts


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With Republican approval ratings in crash-landing ... by Melinda Pillsbury-Foster on Wednesday, Aug 30, 2006 at 5:04:15 PM
I am pretty sure i have seen this in an email form... by Reverend Anthony Wade on Wednesday, Aug 30, 2006 at 9:34:02 PM
Mr. Lillpop's article – rant is more like it – d... by Richard Wise on Thursday, Aug 31, 2006 at 1:38:21 PM
If this is the best set of (tongue in cheek or oth... by JimZ on Saturday, Sep 2, 2006 at 12:14:55 PM