“They got Pinky!" I was calling out to my husband after turning on the radio to news that Bhuto had been assassinated. No, we’re not among the seeming hundreds who have been writing about their personal relationships with her. We encountered her just once, in 1989. She was giving a commencement address and receiving an honorary LLD. Harvard was welcoming her home, with fond memories of the days when she’d been known to all there as Pinky.
I don’t even remember the speech. What I do remember is seeing her moving along a path in the Yard. Alone, small, beautiful, smiling, “Pinky" seemed enchanted to be back at this place where she’d come at 16, putting away the salwar kameez for sweatshirts and jeans. Now she’s been killed.
Public figures die all the time. Political leaders are assassinated. I had to understand why this feels so different to me.
I see that tiny, vulnerable woman, walking along in the Yard. A woman. That picture is quickly joined by one of an American soldier crawling under live machine-gun fire as part of her basic training. Her basic training. She looked so small in the combat fatigues. Another image roars in, the Newsweek cover of a wounded Iraq-war veteran, a woman—with her legs blown off.
I’m embarrassed by the emotions all this evokes in me. Seeing any young person, male or female, in harm’s way triggers maternal alarm bells—gotta help, gotta protect. Girls or boys. I’ve raised sons. It is agony to see them in danger or pain.
But. Girls. Women. My emotional wiring may never adjust. No matter that it’s been decades. Over 20 years ago Indira Gandhi was gunned down. (Her son took her place, and shared her fate.) Women have been in combat now for years. And I’m still not armored against these realities.
As an early and constant feminist, I knew this was coming, knew—still know—it is right and fair. If the women of the world are to have equal opportunities, we must also have equal responsibilities. Including that of serving in combat. Including becoming targets for assassins, if we take on great power. Why should men be the only ones to face such dangers? Unlock the doors and we’ll accept the consequences. It was a deal.
Thirty years on, young women soldiers lose limbs to IEDs and female aspirants to power--no matter how small and fragile--are shot. I understand. It’s just this mom thing that roars up in me and yells No! as I dive to snatch them all out of harm’s way. The girls. The boys. All of them, when their wild and precious lives are at risk.
May the deaths and maimings of our American daughters shock us into remembering how precious all our children’s lives are, never to be spent recklessly or venally. Our children are not cannon fodder. Not a single one of them, male or female.
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Postscript: Pinky’s son has stepped into her shoes. Her boy. All of 19. Like so many a soldier—vulnerable, scared, brave. Oh damn. Somebody please be sure that kid has a first-rate security team.
Ann Medlock founded the Giraffe Heroes Project, a nonprofit that honors people who stick their necks out for the common good and nudges others to follow their example. Her work history includes being a DNC staff writer (fired), speechwriter to the Aga Khan (fascinating) and editing Viet Nam Presse in Diem-era Saigon (scary). She blogs at www.annmedlock.com, www.giraffe.org, & huffington as well as OpEdNews.
Ann Medlock is a writer who founded the Giraffe Heroes Project to foster citizen courage by honoring people who stick their necks out for the common good. The Project encourages today's heroes and trains tomorrow's.
I have to agree with Ms. Medlock, when I read of the deaths of young women in the armed services, young college girls, young mothers, young wives, young daughters. It jars my soul as well. I cry each time. I am a mother of a daughter, a granddaughter, step-daughters, and still raising granddaughters. I believe in the sisterhood of women. I believe that women are stronger than men emotionally and spiritually, women are not as linear and feel the pain of others over their own. I believe that women should be free to make their own choices and sometimes make the choice on how they are to die, leaving those that they love behind. Understanding all of that, it still does not keep the tears from my eyes at each loss.
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Margarita Fox (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 5 comments)
on Sunday, January 6, 2008 at 1:59:12 PM
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